HOW TO COPY YOUR PRIVATE AREA WITHOUT SUSTAINING MAJOR INJURY

Probably should’ve posted this one during the X-mas party season. Oh well, guess that’s one to grow on. Before you attempt such an act make sure you have the following supplies…

- Sturdy copy machine

- A spotter (a friend you can trust)

- 1 box full of copy paper

- Windex® (glass cleaner)

- 2 to 4 sheets of paper towels

- Your private area (penis or vagina)

REMEMBER: Most likely you are not a sober gymnast. You are an inebriated 30 plus individual that can bruise easily as well as break valuable office equipment. 

Step 1. Push carton of paper near copy machine (lifting it might cause a hernia).

Step 2. With the help of a spotter (friend), use the box of paper to step up to the copy machine.

Step 3. To prevent destruction of company property pull your pants/skirt halfway down your body.

Step 4. Place yourself on glass and slightly remove undies or boxers.

Step 5. Copy your private area.

Step 6. After you're done, wipe down thoroughly with glass cleaner and paper towels.