Sunday, January 16, 2011

SUNDAY MAGAZINE SPECIAL: Where does dead fishy really go when you flush it?

You might tell your kids it goes to fishy heaven, but you know that’s a lie. Though even if you said fishy goes right to the sewage treatment facility – you’d still be wrong

That’s right, 9 out of 10 fishies never make it that far. Sadly they end up stuck in the closet bend (the pipe leading out of the toilet). 

- The positioning of the pipe
- The fact that fish are only slightly denser than water
- A fish is neutrally buoyant (no clue what that means)


The easy solve is to make fishy heavier. So when your little one turns away from dead fishy shove 1 marble down its throat. 

This should weight your dead fishy down (when flushing) and send him (or her) happily on its way to sewage treatment land (fishy heaven).

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  1. wow a fishy coffin personally we just throw them into the firepit out back

  2. I'm not sure a marble would fit into the mouth of a gold fish

  3. Lead sinkers would work better than a marble. Too funny!!

  4. Aww, Felix inspired you. How sweet. He went in the dumpster though, not the toilet.

  5. I had to deal with dead fish in the house, so this is good to know.

    Well, that's not entirely true... there was those Van De Kamp fish sticks but I sure as hell wasn't going to flush those little breaded bits of goodness.


  6. Isn't it just easier to wait for fishy to decompose? Can't be wasting perfectly good marbles in this economy.

  7. This post I would like to copy and save to my computer, realy nice

  8. Thank God! I was worried I wasn't going to learn one more thing this week. You saved my mind.

  9. This is one of your best posts. I love it.

  10. What about using the garbage disposal instead?

  11. Isn't it easier to cut the fish in pieces and not to waste a marble?

  12. This post took me through every emotion there is. In other words, it's a good one.

  13. hilarious post. good job!

  14. I always assumed they were sushi for sewer rats.

  15. Oh no! We regularly flush our demised fishy friends... now you're you telling me they are just stacking up in the U bend?!!

  16. I wonder who followed fishy's journey to find out, or whether a little camera was attached to film the journey? Personally I bury dead fish under a plant for the nutritional value.

  17. i eat my dead fish. batter them and havem with chips. yum

  18. No f'n way! I would have totally gambled that it made it to the sewers.

  19. or you can just give the fish to the neighborhood cat

  20. Neutrally buoyant means it neither sinks nor floats.

    But that's weird that poop will go down the toilet, but not a goldfish. I'm confused.

  21. Neutrally buoyant means something doesn't sink or float.

  22. So what you're saying is that just under my parents' toilet is a graveyard of goldfish I neglected as a child?

  23. i like to flush live fish down the toilet.

    i keep hoping that one day they'll swim back up, and tell me they met aquaman.

  24. Wow I didn't know this!

  25. Gosh, I'm worried about Bonnie and Clyde that I flushed not so long ago. They are in limbo and their wee fishy soul need to get to the pearly gates.

    Do I dig them out and have cement shoes fitted....erm cement fins?


  26. By the time I realise my fish are dead; they are already missing as the other fish are clearly cannibals and have eaten them! No fishy heaven for mine I'm afraid.

  27. Great blog man, keep it up! Following now.

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  28. My turtles tend to eat the gold fish before they die and end up floating and requiring a toilet funeral.
    Am I bad that I buy them simply to give the turtles an entertainment and dinner package?

  29. Oh just what I'd need....marbles clogging the toilet!

  30. Ewwwww, remind me to not get a fish.

  31. so then, if it's not quite dead, it's a cruel thing to flush them, right?

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