Monday, January 3, 2011

CRAP! I FORGOT TO DO MY POST ABOUT THE TOP 3 JARS I FINGERED IN 2010.


Dang! Between my dissertation on “Tranq’ing Santa” and proving that Hello Kitty is a lush it must’ve completely slipped my mind. Really sorry about that. Especially since I know how high this post is on everyone’s priority lists (just under viewing this youtube video of a slug being salted to death.)


SO WHY DO I FINGER JARS?
1) I am a man. 2) I’m too lazy to get a spoon. And 3) fingering food helps me sober up after I’ve had too much liquor at social functions.

Enough stalling, HERE ARE THE 3 JARS I LOVED TO FINGER IN 2010.


Someone put something healthy in my absolute favorite condiment. Now egg and fat comes complete with cholesterol fighting oil.
NWM Tip: After 5 or 10 fingers, I always like to add Wheat Thins® to the mix. They taste oh so crunchy 'n creamy with a nice mayo coating.


Discovered this jewel at my X-mas Eve poker game. The added bonus here is I can finger this jar hot or cold. Either way it has a distinct cheesy taste with a kick of hotness.
NWM Tip: Finger responsibly. Only nuke the dip for like 14 seconds or you’ll singe your digit.


MILKY WAY SPREAD: I simply can get enough of this creamy chocolate spread swirled with ribbons of vanilla icing.
NWM Tip: Perfecto with an ice-cold glass of milk and a Mallomar® or 12. 

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36 comments:

  1. 1) I have never seen a slug not react instantly to salting like that, normally they curl up completely with a few grains.

    2) go get some nutella.

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  2. The Milky Way spread looks delicious.

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  3. that's just fucked up, it's painful to see such a helpless creature suffer like that.

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  4. I am HORRIFIED at the mayonnaise.

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  5. Didn't watch the slug. Is that seriously 83 seconds someone has wasted filming the unnatural demise of an invertebrate?

    Where's the peanut butter? Surely that beats mayonnaise....?

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  6. Milky Way Chocolate Flavored Spread? O_o

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  7. Milky Way...spread? Where did you find that??

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  8. Gimme a spoon and I'll eat that ENTIRE jar of Milky Way....thats fucking yummy.

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  9. I didn't even know there was such a thing as milky way spread. All the things one learns reading your blog.

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  10. The Milkyway stuff looks delicious. Perhaps it is time to say buh-bye to the Nutella. Happy fingering!

    http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/

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  11. Awww man I love that olive oil mayonnaise! I don't think I will ever go back.

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  12. ew eating mayo straight from jar yuck i don't even eat it on sandwhiches gross but the milky way i'm so for that

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  13. I have never seen Milkyway chocolate spread! And that video reminds me of Black Flags Salt on a Slug.

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  14. Never knew there was a Milky Way Spread!

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  15. the road to be a two hundred pound or 300 pound man is harsh.....

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  16. milky way spread...is that nutella and fluff?

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  17. I have never seen this milky way spread...I am intrigued.

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  18. Wow Copyboy...now those are some jars made for fingering. I have never heard of the Milky Way spread. At least down here in South Carolina or in Connecticut where I'm from. Fun post. Thanks.

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  19. OMG The bleu cheese dip section cracked me the hell up! Milky Way spread? O M G I have to find some of that!!!

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  20. I'm with the poster that mentioned Nutella. Get some. Trust me.

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  21. so, i had to skip the slug salting video. i left beastiality behind in my college days. i swear.

    and don't you think your GIRLFRIEND should have have been amongst the fingered jars of note?

    a little CONSIDERATION, MAN!

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  22. Oh God! You got my total rapt attention with the buffalo bleu cheese. I will eat anything with buffalo sauce. ANYTHING. Yummers! I think I'd be tonguing that one instead of finger it, though.

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  23. Milky Way spread? Never heard of it, going to the store today to buy some...
    Thanks!
    I'll probably use a spoon.

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  24. i dont like mayo but that milkyway jar blew my mind
    first thing tomorrow is to get one of those

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  25. #2 looks like it was part of a holiday gift basket. Ha ha! My hubs loves that mayo, I'm not a fan. I say if it's not the full on real deal mayo, then I won't have any :( That milkyway stuff looks yumz though!

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  26. well this post made me a little sad being it was about finger jars....haha you are whack!
    Hilarious though just about peed my pants!

    Now where do you get that milky way stuff?

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  27. This post was a little weird, but cool! haha.

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  28. I have never heard of the Milky Way Spread...you know it's not April 1st right?? Don't toy with our taste buds.

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  29. ohmy...milky way stuff looks amazing. especially because i just got my wisdom teeth out and i'm having trouble with solid foods :c

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  30. Hmm... Well now do believe that my heart is broken! No mention of peanut butter anywhere. Hmph!

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  31. mayo is the only one ive even seen :)

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  32. That Milky Way looks deliciously unhealthy. Also, JarSquatter? (Don't look it up)

    http://anon408.blogspot.com

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