Saturday, January 1, 2011

GET SKINNY THE HARD WAY OR THE EXOTIC WAY IN 2011


Starting tomorrow (ok, technically today), you could sweat it out in the gym for 2 plus hours, and maybe what? Lose like a pound or two? OR, you could swallow a tapeworm* (pictured above) plus a couple of his brothers, sisters, and cousins. Then sit back, relax and let 'em digest some of your food 'n calories…at least ‘til you crap ‘em out.
The choice is yours.


BTW...Minor drawbacks include…
  • Abdominal pain
  • Weakness
  • Headache
  • Nausea
  • Diarrhea
  • Constipation
  • Bloating
  • Something ALIVE in your stomach


J.D. POWER’s #1 RATED TAPEWORM
Dipylidium caninum*

* As fun as it sounds, this blog in no way endorses this barbaric method of losing weight. Plus, to be honest…I think the tapeworm I just mentioned is only found in dogs. Sorry. Oh, and Happy New Year!

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35 comments:

  1. Tapeworms, the less barfy way to get skinny.

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  2. It's worked for celebrities for years.. why the hell not?

    SD
    simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

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  3. I am on the tequila diet. It helps a little bit.

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  4. Ewwwwww to both xP

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  5. The amazing thing is that there are people out there who would do this. Yikes!! No thank you. Every year I start a cleanse during the first week of January. Much easier :0)

    Happy 2011! xo

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  6. who goes to the gym anyway. this is a much better solution.

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  7. i think the choice is pretty fucking obvious.

    where do you get said tapeworm?

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  8. or you could just have a zombie eat away all your fat.

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  9. I think this a great alternative then working out! Who wants to waste their time when you can get the same results with tape worms ;)

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  10. That is like psychic weird! I knew you'd do a new year's diet one and I kept thinking, he should do the tapeworm diet--huge in the CA crowd out west and now spreading to Scottsdale/Phoenix. No surgical scars but same effect as having a stapling. You do know the worm has to come out at some point???

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  11. I seriously need to lose weight but I'm quite sure I could get that down! Gross, haha.

    Thank you so much for making me New Blog of the Day! Can't tell you how much that means to me! Looking forward to getting to know you more. BB @ bouncinbarbs.blogspot.com

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  12. Sounds good enough for me! And if I take enough Capt Morgan, the worm will be clean too! Ha! Take that...

    MN
    noreallyitsnotme.blogspot.com

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  13. This is dangerous. I'd consider exercising.

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  14. I know that you're just being silly but I have read before about people ordering tapeworms to eat for the purpose of weight loss. Scary stuff!

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  15. wandered over from Bouncin' Barbs blog..nice choice for BOTD!

    i prefer to binge and purge...or just binge, really...

    this ridiculous attraction to being thin but still lazy is silly...

    Happy New Year!
    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book

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  16. And then when you are ready to take your new fit self to the spa and reward yourself with a pedicure, they'll put your feet in a tub with a bunch of little fish who will eat the dead skin off your rough heals. Sorry, did I make you just throw up in your mouth? I did when I read about this new trend awhile back. EWWWW! Then there is the coffee passed through the bowels of a wild civicat- G

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  17. Guess I better stop kissing my dog, then, eh?

    nah...I don't kiss my dog.
    If I could, why would I even bother with girls?

    Still, talk about sales points.
    All Natural, Organic method of dieting.
    OK, Copyboy, I'm on it!

    d=^))

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  18. If it wouldn't kill me I'd probably be game. Just saying.

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  19. Well, that is nasty gross if I do say so myself! Found you through Bouncin' Barb's blog and I'm so glad I did. How in the world did I not know about your blog until today? I'll definitely be coming back for more.

    Happy New Year!

    http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/

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  20. I love having choices like this.

    Hope your New Year is a wonderful one!

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  21. Wow. You know much about the world of weight loss. I want to know if it possible to have Anorexia for just as long as it takes to get down to the weight you are longing for. Can the Anorexia then be stopped before any damage is done? Thanks in advance Doc.

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  22. just found your blog and i find it very interesting will be back for more

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  23. have you ever seen a real one of those? they are NASTY. think i'll pass

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  24. All the best for the new year!

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  25. That sounds fucking fantastic and all... but I think I'll pass! Bring on the water pills! ;)
    Happy New Year Creeper!

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  26. As much as I would like to lose at least 20 more lbs, I think I will stick to what has worked over months of effort instead of ingesting parasites. Though, for a second...na still disgusting!

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  27. It's all fun and games until you poop one out. It's like aliens but in your rectum.

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  28. i wish tapeworms were like the ones in that futurama episode... they just help you out and give you superpowers... not to mention deep tissue massages

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  29. How about eating tapeworms AND going to the gym?
    This is hilarious Jesse!

    Happy New Year to you my friend!

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  30. BAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man. You are hilarious.....know where I can find one of those bad boys?

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  31. I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say, "fine, how was your lobotomy?"

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