Monday, August 30, 2010

BACK-TO-SCHOOL FASHIONS FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE KIDS



Ok, I’m not saying I hate the babies in strollers that spit up every 2 seconds. Or detest those A.D.D.s running around screaming their heads off in malls. I’m talking about the college age kids. The young Gen Ys.

Just to give you some back matter, I reside in NYC. And I happen to live on the same block as a freshman dorm of a college that will remain nameless (NYU). Now to be fair, when the kids are sober they aren’t so bad (except for the cigarette butts). My real problem is when they get drunk off their under-aged asses. 


God forbid if I walk by and give some funny look. I’m certain I'd get a gaggle of ‘em circling, ready to beat my post-hernia-op, 39 yr. old body to a pulp. So to prevent that from ever happening I keep my head down when I walk by the dorm from late August to early May. Oh, and I also dress accordingly. Call me a p*ssy. I call it self preservation. 

[Weekend Casual Unassuming Outfit]






Total cost = $44.18 (and your testicles intact)

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12 comments:

  1. I wish there was an equivalent outfit for girls. But for us, even the most basic of tshirts is imbued with meaning. And even though we might not get our asses kicked, we might get our feelings hurt! Which is totally way worse for us.

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  2. I wonder if they would beat my post-hernia-op 30 year old ass (true story)... because I cannot get away with "non-douchey" shorts and while my butt is ass-tastic, and I have a boobalicious top part, I'm not a little trixie chick that wears a size 0.

    I guess it's a good thing I used to work at a jail b/c I can at least make them squat and cough to make sure they don't have drugs in any orifices.
    I can't take them down, though...
    I really wish they'd taught me more useful things at that job, dammit.

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  3. Where else am I going to wear my "I love Boobies" t-shirt if not walking by a college dorm?

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  4. fuck those college fuckers I'll wear my Tee thats says "I wear heels bigger than your Dick!". Lets see what they say then, assbags!

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  5. I like the unassuming outfit, casual and simple!

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  6. I guess wearing my Canadian Olympics t-shirt might get my ass kicked too, huh?

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  7. I'm the type of person that would purposefully wear things to irritate them. To each their own I guess.

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  8. I'm with TS on this one. College kids are annoying douches.

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  9. haha, funny. Oh and I'm also UBER jealous that you live in NYC... I sooo want to wake up in the city that never sleeps. ; )

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  10. This is exactly why when you are out in the neighborhood, you should be packing...

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