Sure you could ask Santa to bring your kid a Furby….
…Or a LEGO missile launcher,
...but honestly, wouldn't your kid rather have old Saint Nick himself? Think about all the benefits of keeping a real live Santa –
- He can create any toy you want
- He’s first cousins to Jesus (ask him lots of tough questions)
- Find out if Jersey Shore cast members are naughty or nice
- Play with his magic sack
HOW DO YOU TRAP A SANTA?
Lacing cookies and milk won’t cut it. The jolly fat man probably has centuries of practice sniffing that trick out. I’m thinking a high-powered tranquilizer gun is the only way to go. It'll take down Santa (or a rhino) before he can escape through the chimney. Here are my T-GUN choices.
Rotating rear barrel port for quick loading
Riffled 14 inch fluted stainless steel barrel
Virtually silent dart propulsion
Does NOT require federal firearm license
Conditional Life-time warranty
Lightweight at 3.04 lbs.
Quiet (Virtually Silent)
Incredible Dart range and accuracy
Most Affordable on a per shot basis
Spring loaded rotating butt plate for quick loading.
Lightweight at 8.69 lbs.
($10.75 a 5 Pack)
Made of fortified plastic
Explodes on impact
MY TOP 6 TRANQ (SANTA SEDATIVE) DRUGS OF CHOICE:
PLEASE NOTE: All drugs are fast acting (within 10 seconds of injection), with little or no side effects (nausea, dizziness, death, etc.)