I have read ‘bout a zillion personal blogs in the past year. All really good stuff. Yet I can still say without a doubt that I have actually blogged about something you won’t read anywhere else. I make this claim ‘cause I know no one would waste their keyboard strokes on a topic so pathetic. Most personal bloggers devote their creative energies to venting about something meaningful. Talking about their kid. Speaking of an achievement. Goofing on work, or whatever. I’m not saying that what I have to say is any better. Far from it. I’m just saying you will never read a blogger BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE OR SHE HAS NO PAIR OF MATZO BALLS (cajones). Well allow me to break that baby-barrier today. For I have truly elevated wimpiness to an art form. And here is my prime example.
Let’s say I’m at a bar shooting pool with my friends.
All the sudden it’s my turn.
Now I have a totally easy shot.
However the problem is a couple is standing right where I have to shoot. Here’s where the uber-wimpy part comes in.
First, I’ll go right behind the couple (never making eye contact) and in a barely audible voice softly say, “Oops, I mean, I er need to, um…well, er.”
That almost always accomplishes nothing. So rather than growing a set and tapping one of ‘em on the shoulder, I usually do one of 2 things…
Try to wedge in between the couple and the table and make the shot with no room…
OR I’ll shoot from another angle and miss completely.
To me, it doesn’t get any more wimpy than that. Does it? You tell me if you can beat it.