If you read my blog you already know I have issues. Personally I think it’s a result of me living alone for a decent portion of my life (5 years or so). One of the top quirks would have to be my tendency to talk out loud to myself. Correction, talking and SINGING OUT LOUD. So if the wife is out and I’m home alone this is the conversation that might occur …
Me: What should I have for dinner? Hmmmm. What can I …
Me: Ooooh, I’ll order pizza.
Me: Nah, it’ll take forever.
Me: Actually I really want to try that Mexican place. Yep, Mexican it is.
Now that we established I’m nuts, here’s what happened yesterday…
Workplace – Monday, 11:42AM
I’m in a decent mood ‘cause I did something semi-right. So of course I start to sing out loud. I decided to go with the theme to the GILMORE GIRLS. This continues all the way to the men’s room (needed to drain the main vein). Upon entering the room I noticed all the urinals were empty. Which meant I had a green light to continue belting out my special tune.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.
As I’m in mid-pee singing my eyes wander to something I didn’t see before. “SH*T!” I had forgotten to check the stalls. And sure enough what do I spy? Black loafers peering out of stall #1. Immediately I stop singing, finish my piss, do the ol’ 2 second run the hands under the water, and leave. I save time by wiping my wet hands on my shorts.
WILL HE KNOW WHO I AM?
Unfortunately I think he will. I am pretty much the only person who dresses like an unhip 4 yr. old. Long socks. Black sneakers. I stick out like a sore thumb (see below visual).
SO WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
I assume merciless teasing. Plus probing into my Gilmore Girls viewing past. I’ll let you know if and when it happens. Fingers crossed it doesn't.
In case you’re wondering here’s how the song goes.
LMAO - so that was you in the bathroom. CAUGHT YA!
ReplyDeleteDude, no shame. GG was an awesome show.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha.
ReplyDelete....
hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
You are so lucky to live alone....
ReplyDeleteTrust me -- I lived alone for years, and miss it so badly.
ROFL!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know what I hate? Having a #2 emergency that requires that I use a public restroom. (I NEED home field advantage for that). Then, having it stink so badly, that everyone else in the restroom at the time looks for the "offending shoes". At some point, you're gonna have to leave the stall, and go back into the store (or whatever) and SOMEONE from the restroom is gonna spot your shoes!!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!
I say wear your shame proudly! I am known for singing out loud, all the time... I'm one of those poor souls who's brain is flooded with songs based on what I hear people saying. I've even busted out in song during important meetings at work. Ashley (I'm sure she is around her somewhere) can back me up on this. Sometimes she says a word and says, give me 5 songs with that word in it....I usually can.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, I'm wasting a perfectly good blog post here....I have to go write...
Holy shiz I'm laughing so hard right now. First off, you guys are allowed to wear shorts? No way! That's crazy! Anyway, that song is soooo ghey!! I mean, couldn't you at least be singing the Cheers theme song or maybe the song to The Jeffersons? Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteWhen ever I see Lauren Graham all I can think about is her in Bad Santa...what a great movie, hey that should have made my list!
ReplyDeleteI miss Gilmore Girls!
ReplyDeleteEvery woman I've ever dated has loved Gilmore Girls. It's like the female version of kryptonite, along with Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter and Twilight.
ReplyDeleteSing it loud, sing it proud! Gilmore Girls was a great show. Did you sing the 'ohOHOOOH' bit?
ReplyDeletewww.save-your-bacon.blogspot.com