WHERE THE HELL CAN I BUY A HALFWAY DECENT BABY JESUS?

Seeing as I’m a Jew from New York (how many times am I going to belabor that point for comic relief?) I’ve never really had too much contact with Baby Jesus. My first memories of J. jr. was when I watched the 1977 TV special Nestor the Donkey. Essentially it was one of those Rudolph knockoffs. Only instead of it being the classic tale about a deer with a deviated septum, this was about a donkey with extra long ears. Eventually (just like Rudolph) Nestor was able to use his deformity for good. The Virgin Mary hitched a ride on his back and used Nestor’s ears to shield her during a sandstorm. 

The show ended with the classic manger scene of Virgin Mary giving birth to Baby Jesus. Since then I’ve seen numerous Baby Jesus sightings. Probably the most  common is when the local fluff newscaster interviews kids reenacting the birth of Christ for their Christmas pageants. Which brings me to my question…WHERE DOES ONE SCORE A BABY JESUS? 

DUDE, YOU CAN USE ANY OLD DOLL

I’m thinking no. You can’t use any old version of the American flag for sporting events or burnings. They need to be regulation size and even folded a certain way. 

And that’s just a piece of cloth. We’re talking about the son of God here.  Unfortunately it was slim pickings on the net. Here’s all I came up with.

PLUSH BABY JESUS ($12.95 @ Centurynovelty.com)

12″ long.

Baby wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Embroidered sleeping baby face.

BABY JESUS PORCELAIN DOLL ($49.99 @ eBay)

Limited edition piece

In mint condition
Wooden Crib included

AFRICAN AMERICAN BABY JESUS ($48.50 @ Babyjesusdoll.com)

13” soft vinyl doll

Also available in Caucasian, Hispanic, and Latino,

Manger included