Tuesday, December 7, 2010

LADIES! IF YOU SUDDENLY FIND YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A URINAL WITH A PENIS, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS…


Rest assured I’m not going to lecture you on positioning and aiming of your little friend. I feel like you'd have those inherent skills with the introduction of your new organ. What I will educate you about is a little thing I like to call L.O.S.W.P. (line of sight while peeing). It doesn’t matter if you’re a chatty Cathy or the silent type. When you’re at a urinal there is a correct and wrong L.O.S.W.P.



BAD: Do not attempt to visually engage your pee partner face to face.



REALLY, REALLY BAD: Never ever size up your pee partner. I can not stress this enough.




GOOD: Look straight at the wall even while engaging in conversation. Never once make eye contact with your pee partner.

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117 comments:

  1. Oh god that reminds me of a childhood memory of me in the men's bathroom when I was three... xP

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    ReplyDelete
  2. Other rule to keep in mind: If there are other urinals available, NEVER go to a urinal which is next to one that is already in use. Not cool.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG! OMG!

    Thank you sooooo much for posting this! I would have been fucked if I was ever in that situation! (I sooooo still would be, because I totally would have to check out my peeing partner!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wish I had a wittier comment than

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  5. My special friend Stanley and I always use the "buddy system" when it's time to tinkle. You figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes, men's bathroom is the sanctuary of relief.

    ReplyDelete
  7. And never ever go up to someone engaged at a stall and give them a shoulder rub. Doesn't help.

    ReplyDelete
  8. that's right ladies!
    also, don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal!
    It makes them soggy and hard to light...

    ReplyDelete
  9. haha funny stuff and i'm honored to be the new blog of the day

    ReplyDelete
  10. will you be my pee partner? We can help each other out with the aiming.

    ReplyDelete
  11. There's an app for the iPhone and iPod Touch -- I forget the name of it, but basically it shows you a wall full of urinals and you need to choose the right one to pee in. Urinal courtesy as always been funny to me, which is why I try to use the stalls if available.

    ReplyDelete
  12. if i were able to magically grow a cock, i would break all the rules!

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahahaha totally correct my friend, you shall abide to those rules :­D

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hehehe, funny post, nice tips :)
    Still, in movies you see guys all the time doing exactly what you said we shouldn't do :)

    Respect,
    tigey, head of PL Team

    ReplyDelete
  15. True. Never Ever Look down. Did you ever see that episode in Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry looks down to see if "brothas" are living large down there. It was hullarious.

    ReplyDelete
  16. great post. I need to print this up and past it in the bathrooms at work

    ReplyDelete
  17. While this is utterly true, it's also strangely random. Comical...but still random.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just why I rarely use urinals.. I don't want anyone checking out my dong.

    ReplyDelete
  19. hehe some people really need those tips broken to then step by step

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks. It now makes sense why I get those nasty looks at the urinals

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have found myself in front of more than one urinal, but the penis part eludes me

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very useful...now just waiting for my penis to grow in

    ReplyDelete
  23. isn't this in the bro code book? I find it extremely intriguing that you took pictures in the mens bathroom...what else do you do?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Fourth rule - always use the lower urinal. What I mean by that is the urinal that hangs lower on the wall than the others. Why? Intimidation factor...you "need" all the space to take it out without touching the urinal.

    Fifth rule - keep a straight, AND SERIOUS, face while employing the fourth rule tactic. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  25. VERY, VERY BAD. Good to know. Good. to. know.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Very funny post. Is the water in men's urinals always blue - before they use it? I'm a little jealous.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  27. In trying to preserve your masculinity you lost it the second you used the term "pee partner." I'm checking to see if there is a free stall.

    ReplyDelete
  28. hahahah fucking genius...

    i love how this is directed at ladies who may just have a penis one day and may need to use a urinal

    ReplyDelete
  29. nice. I hate when little kids are at urinals at like sporting events...they just seem to look everywhere dont they.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I can agree to that. I actually enjoy looking straight forward. I pretend I'm looking at something I don't like and peeing on it.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have to say, if i woke up one day with a wanker, i probably would not leave the house as account to I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of it!

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  32. Too true. I hate people that try to break rule one

    ReplyDelete
  33. The term pee partner will now forever freak me out. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I've always been a stall man myself...

    Followin! :]

    ReplyDelete
  35. I feel this is basic information that should be taught in elementary schools

    ReplyDelete
  36. I have enough trouble going in a public restroom stall.....there is no way I could do a urinal....even if I could stand and pee....something I've wished I could do some days!

    ReplyDelete
  37. haha. reminds me of a fellow blogger's post
    http://sloppydrunkrants.blogspot.com/2010/11/httpwww.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SloppyDrunkRants+%28Sloppy+Drunk+Rants%29

    ReplyDelete
  38. Marlene-you wished you could do this for some days? Well let me know you can help me out ;)

    ReplyDelete
  39. I remember the flash game based on the rules of urinating. My wife, surprisingly enough, could not beat it. She was like "I've clicked every stall and urinal and all of them are wrong". Hahaha..the answer is the door, silly woman.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I will save this for when I find myself with a penis!

    ReplyDelete
  41. haha! where do you come up with all of this stuff? :p

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