Sunday, December 19, 2010

3 ANGRY BIRDS YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BRING TO A BAR FIGHT


By now, you’ve seen these little guys featured on the world wide web, TV, magazines, and of course a crapload of smart phones. If for some reason this craze has escaped you allow me to shed some light on it. The game is called ANGRY BIRDScreated just over a year ago by ROVIO MOBILE. The premise is easy: use each bird (and their powers) to destroy all the evil piggies. Since the birds wield all the strength, in each level the piggies are hidden within constructions of metal, wood, snow, and glass. 

SO WHICH BAR ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
Let’s say the nasty one from the best bar fighting movie (ROAD HOUSE) existed – THE DOUBLE DEUCE
Before you walk into that tall drink of trouble here are the 3 ANGRY BIRDS YOU NEED TO KICK SOME RIGHTEOUS ASS:


#1: YELLOW BIRD
Don’t let the name fool you. He’s the best one of the bunch and packs quite a punch. If you got a big bouncer coming at you with a chair simply aim the little fella. Shoot him. Then tap him again to activate his missile-like speed. The bouncer and chair will be toast.


#2: WHITE (EGG) BIRD
Most Angry Bird experts would advise against this one. They’d say he’s hard to control. I beg to differ. Just fling this guy over an angry mob by the bathroom and tap him. Not only will White Bird drop an egg and destroy the crowd, but he’ll also shoot into the bathroom and stop any crazy-dude waiting to jump you.



#3: BLACK (BOMB) BIRD
Easy choice. However, I wouldn’t even use BBB. When I’d finally be ready to escape the bar I’d simply display BOMB BIRD. The rest of the thugs would realize I’m not playing around and back away. Then I’d simply walk out the door. Get in my monster truck and drive off safely into the sunset.  

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20 comments:

  1. It's always the fluffy, cute ones you have to watch out for.

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  2. Yellow bird is definitely my favorite. I could do without green boomerang bird. God, he was annoying.

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  3. I guess I live under a rock because I've never heard of these before.

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  4. I've never heard of these either...what's that all about??

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  5. This is the first I've heard of these guys...man I need to get with it I guess.

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  6. Haven't played it yet. Need to download the free version to my iPad and try it.

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  7. You know what, I like Roadhouse and stop in for a scene or two every time I surf by it. It's time to not be nice....

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  8. those birds remind me of chocobos... from ff7 when you can breed them into different colors

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  9. i never really got into the hype of this game.. i paid for it on my phone, played it for half an hour and haven't touched it since.

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  10. Hilarious! My wife is totally addicted to Angry Birds. Haha! And the Road House bar might not be a great place for them to enter or they could end up on the menu. That place is pretty tough.

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  11. I just think they're all ugly, and this game is really weird. xo

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  12. Didn't know about the game but i'll check it out

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  13. I would not want to get beaned in the head with one of those Angry Birds. By the way, are any of the piggies named Jodi? 'Cause then I think the Angry Birds would think twice about messing with those little piggies. I know I would. - G

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  14. i played Angry Birds until it informed me: "congratulations! you've been playing angry birds for 5 hours!"

    haven't played since.

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