Monday, December 13, 2010

GIVE HER THE iPOD OF TASERS

‘Tis the season for women to walk alone to their cars late at night with their arms loaded with gifts...unaware of lurking prowlers. If your loved one tends to do her holiday shopping in the PM hours you might want to give her the ultimate [helpful] shocker – THE TASER® C2.


THE STATS ON THIS MIGHTY MERRY  MUTHA!
  • 15ft range
  • Sends a 30 second jolt of juice
  • Laser guidance system (nail your assailant on the first try)
  • Lightweight and compact (perfect for the pocket or purse)
  • Long-lasting (you can use it over 50 times)


BUT WAIT, THERE’S STILL MORE…
THE TASER® C2 CASE (holster) also doubles as an mp3 player with 1 gig of storage.


TOTAL COSTS FOR PEACE OF MIND...



The question remains, what ‘s the best way to fry his ass while feeling the groove?

Here are my top two tazing tunes...

Electric Avenue (1982) – Eddie Grant



Electric boogie (Electric slide 1976) – Marcia Griffiths

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39 comments:

  1. the holster is an mp3 player?! that just seems like a completely irrelevant feature, but i guess some ladies might like it

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  2. oh yeah, thats the shit. Im gonna pick it up and roll out with my holstered taser, Eddie Grant blasting in the background.

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  3. Mp3 player, thats nice, at least you listen to music while shocking people

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  4. Do they have one for men? I like music and I like shooting electricity through people's bodies.

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  5. This insults me and my vagina. Who the FUCK needs a cheetah skin on their taser? What, is that supposed to friggin match their shoes? Plus, seriously, an MP3 player?
    My magical poon and I are very very upset.

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  6. Well! This is a shockingly silly little item! (Pun intended) Yeah, its for personal protection, but do they need to make it that gaudy? Sheesh, Miley there had a total bitch fit about it. xD I would too if they were trying to upsell me something so damned ugly... At least I've got Eddie Grant to comfort me!

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  7. The combo between the cougar teaser and Electric av made me laugh, very enjoyable post even if it's advertising!

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  8. Awesome, I'm going to get one for my girl

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  9. All I can think of is "Why?". Whyyyyy?

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  10. lmao, you crack me up... tazing songs

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  11. what... its not two-in-one??? -__-;;
    very disappointing how both doesn't come in one :P Maybe its better that way huh :P Might end up shocking yourself haha!

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  12. now, what is on the taser soundtrack?

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  13. I highly doubt that's legal here in Canada. Even pepper spray is illegal, and in most cases using a weapon for self defense can land you in jail unless you have evidence you were being attacked. There was a story not long ago about a guy breaking into someone's house. The homeowner broke the dude's legs with a baseball bat and went to jail simply for defending himself.

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  14. Haha. I started laughing when I saw the tazer's design, then bursted into tears when I saw the mp3 device! I just wonder who decided it would be a good idea to pay for this thing haha

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  15. now with 1 GB of electricity transferred at the speed of firewire

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  16. You can use it over 50 times? How am I going to narrow down potential victims to just 50?

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  17. I thought my taser was the shit...and now you hit me with this....great. Now I have to upgrade!

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  18. Does it come in zebra? I would be interested in this if it came in zebra.

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  19. Another great gift idea for the ladies out there.

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  20. that really is the apple of all tasers..my god

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  21. a tazer with an mp3 player is probably one of the craziest gadgets i've seen. the cheetah thing is a little stupid though

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  22. Seriously? Is that legal in NY? I think mace might be illegal in CA. But, then again, I could buy a gun so why not a fashionable taser? xo

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  23. I don't like it! My wife would use it on me just for fun...

    A while back my SIL (a cop) and his partner got to tase a guy who was wearing a "don't tase me, bro!" T-shirt. The irony makes me weepy...

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  24. lol, nice. I've actually always wanted to get fried by a taser.

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  25. wow, that is the wierdest, yet most awesome gift I have ever seen!

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  26. Too expensive. Don't want my wallet to get raped either.

    Stick to a knife and slash their knees :D

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  27. Excellent!
    I'd think Maiden's Run to the Hills might be a good choice as well. Or The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang - now wouldn't that be ironic?

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  28. LOL this song matches perfectly with the taser!

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  29. lol, screw tasers, get her a glock

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  30. A metal bat can do wonders as well.

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  31. I am putting this at the top of my list this year. I wanted "stun knuckles" but I'm thinking "why not both" a girl needs protection right?

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  32. yo, i love that song by the way! we've come a long way since pepper spray!

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  33. A taser... ooh, I could have fun with that!

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  34. Oh behave... tase me you sexy beast!

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  35. I just think what is connected between TASERS and MP3 player?.. By the way! It's a nice choice of song uh!

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