Saturday, December 25, 2010

MERRY F---ING XMAS! I HAVE A RAGING HANGOVER FROM PLAYING POKER WITH MY JEWISH FRIENDS LAST NIGHT


I know. I know. You think we Jews are all about Chinese food and Blockbuster on the holiest of holy days. Well some of us are. I happen to fall into the camp that has an ongoing poker game with his friends since 1985. Too %$#^%  early to do math. 

As you can guess there is (was) alcohol involved – lots of it. And with that comes crazy talk. Last night was no different. Snippets of conversation starters included:

How do you initiate the sexual encounter in a rest stop?

Is it possible to get crabs at a gym? Twice?

Best time to refinance a house (earlier in the night)

Is it ok to masturbate on the host’s couch after everyone else passes out?

FYI…I won 30 bucks. I usually lose.

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22 comments:

  1. deep questions. i think containment is key to the last one. as long as nobody knows...

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  2. You're right, not all Jews are all about the Chinese food. We are going to an Indian buffet.

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  3. I want in on that conversation. Merry f#@$'ing Xmas to you too! Oh, and the hangover is well earned, I'm certain. Now, just imagine licking a greasy ashtray filled with oyster juices and stinky cheese... (feeling a little nauseous, hmm?) I'm reminded of what I believe was an SNL cartoon about the Jews coming out on Christmas. That was one of my favs. Happy hangover recovery.

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  4. Sounds like you had a great time last night.

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  5. Things that make you go hmmmm? LOL. I'm glad you had a great time last night with your buddies. I hope you recover fast xo

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  6. Sounds like a fucking awesome night.

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  7. All that fun and you didn't invite me? I'm not Jewish, but I can play poker...a little.

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  8. But....Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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  9. But....youre are a f.... moron

    amerry cans don't celebrate Christmas

    they buy Christmas

    The Jews sell Christmas

    Big Bang only produced GOD, all the heavier religions came later

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  10. Very important questions... Merry Christmas!

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  11. To answer your crab question... yes

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  12. Nice! I'd be happy with an extra 30 bucks!

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  13. When can we expect answers on those four questions in the end of the post? :))And I hope the answers will be richly illustrated.

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  14. Sounds like you had lots of fun!
    Also, I bet one of you bitches jerked off on the couch whilst others were passed out. Amirite? :D

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  15. I'm seein a trend here - Alcohol followed by hangovers. I think we may need an intervention soon.

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  16. Kind of glad I wasn't there to answer those. But yes it is possible to get crabs at that gym. Even twice. And if everyone is passed out and you don't leave a mess how would the host know?

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  17. Your host might not mind you using his couch, but he may not like the fact that you used his sock...

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