Summer is the prime season for excuses. Mostly these gems are used to get out of work (to start a vacation early), or to miss yet another annoying summer BBQ. On the one hand you want the excuse to be horrible enough that no one will question you (a sick relative, accident, etc.). On the other hand, if you use someone who is alive (as part of the excuse) you don’t want to jinx that person. God forbid that person really gets sick or dies. You’ll feel like sh*t. My solution to you is to use one of your already dead relatives. You can’t make their situation any worse. That person is dead! So give Great Aunt Rita any disease you want. Let Uncle Herb get mugged. Hell, let your great grandma get hit by a truck. What do they care?
CREATE GUILT-FREE PLANNED EXCUSES
A lot of people have trouble crying on cue (myself included). Which is vital if you are going to offer up any of the last second above excuses to a friend or boss. If this is hard for you use a "dead relative planned" excuse instead. You know, like a scheduled surgery or treatment. This way you can dial down your emotions a bit. Plus, you can also use the excuse for any future day you want to be out.
NEVER USE A FUNERAL
Trust me, this one will bite you in the ass. If you use this excuse on close friends, they’ll want to attend. If you use it on your boss, he or she might get the whole company to send flowers. Take my advice and stay far, far away from this one.
YOUR DEAD RELATIVE WOULD BE PLEASED
Aside from the excuse being jinx-proof and guilt-free, it’s a sweet way to honor a departed one. I mean what dead relative wouldn’t want to receive a grieving encore? Win, Win situation in my book.
You're welcome and have a happy summer on your terms!!!
I remember feeling guilty when my grandpa died and when hubs' grandma passed -- they really did pass but I felt like it sounded like an excuse. Eek! Who could do that?
ReplyDeleteI've never been good at faking an excuse. I'll just have to stick with real ones... like diarrhea!
ReplyDeleteI'm just waiting for the day when we as a society will allow anniversaries of dead pets to qualify for time off.
ReplyDeleteOh the tangled webs we weave......I'd have a helluva time trying to keep my stories straight.
ReplyDeleteI've used every excuse in the book at one time or another. And then I ended up on the other side of the table and had to listen to those same excuses...
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