Friday, September 25, 2009


It was a crisp, fall Saturday night in October of 1986. I was sleeping over a friend’s house. I believe it was around 11:30 when he flicked on the TV to HBO. That’s when I saw him for the first time – The 1968 Pro-Middle Weight Karate Champion, one Mr. Chuck Norris. The movie was Missing Action 2: The Beginning. Technically it’s the prequel to Missing Action 1. In the film, Colonel James Braddock (Mr. Norris) is imprisoned with his troops in a Vietnam POW camp. Chuck slowly bides his time, surviving torture after torture. Then he strikes in the only way Chuck can – with fists of blind fury. He not only defeats everyone in the camp single-handed, but also carries all of his fallen comrades 8, no 12 miles to the rescue chopper – while being chase by the enemy (in tanks). Truly tough as nails, that one. After MIA, Chuck went on to star in a slew of action blockbusters and finally his true magnum opus – Walker Texas Ranger. 

Chuck exudes badass-ness. How tough is that exactly? Take a look at these honest-to-God CN facts, collected from the folks at

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day. 

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick. 

Conan knows all too well the sheer power Chuck possess…

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