BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING: WHAT I REALLY NEED FOR SCHOOL

by Molly Picardi (NWM Staff Writer)

It's October. Most of those of us seeking an education, wither for ourselves or our children, have already purchased the usual supplies: textbooks, computers, and what not. Yet, many of us can't seem to shake the nagging feeling that we've forgotten some vital and essential thing- that one thing that will make this year different and create that competitive edge. So, recently I've been looking around and I think I've finally found it, that one thing (or several “one things”) that are crucial, yet tragically overlooked on most people's shopping lists. Here is a list of the top five items for the really ambitious back-to-school shopper.

5)Inanimate Character Stickers- Sometimes back to school can seem a bit boring. You buy the same old notebooks, the same old number two pencils, the same old pink erasers. Well, no longer! This product will, quite literally give character to any boring school supply- simply attach the face of your choosing. After all, who doesn't want to take the SAT with an angry pencil glaring at them.

4)Ninja Electronics Duster- Don't you hate it when your keyboard gets dusty and grimy? Now you can clean it with the stealth and power of a NINJA WARRIOR

3)Earth Dog Tags- Thinking of studying abroad? There's a lot out there and, safe as your college or university is at home, there are always unfamiliar risks with going to a different country. Has it ever occurred to you that places like Madrid or Florence may not be quite as extra-terrestrial free? Luckily these dog tags have been engraved with several different ways to locate the earth from any point within the galaxy.

2)Shakespeare Insult Gum- Remember the days when gum chewing was banned in schools? This gum is not only educational, it's also humbling. Each piece is shaped like a leather bound book and comes complete with a gum ball and a personal Shakespearian insult. Any student without one is certainly an “idle headed, maggot pie.”

1) Knitted Frog Dissection- In my opinion this one is the most essential of the list, particularly for the aspiring biologist. This lovely frog is hand knit (you can even make one at home) and can be opened to display the complete internal anatomy of you amphibious friend. Time for bed? No problem the frog can be quickly pinned closed and is ready for snuggling and bedtime stories.