I EFFIN HATE SUCCESSORIES POSTERS!

by Tom McConville (NWM Staff Writer)

There’s a number of those cheesy “Successories” posters on the walls. A book entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens sits in my line of sight. The man behind me may or may not be looking at porn on one of the public computers. Welcome to my hometown’s Public Library. And my life as an unemployed 40 year old. Is this Not Worth Mentioning? Probably. I’m no different than many other people out there right now. But because it’s happening to me, and I’m a self-absorbed schmuck throwing a month long pity party, it seems like an awfully dramatic time in my life.

I have become Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom. And while this has its advantages – like the 4-day streak of wearing the same sweat pants without much protesting from others in my house – I don’t want to do this anymore. Aside from being nervous every waking minute of the day, being jobless is boring. It reminds me of the first 6 months of being a new dad. The first day is amazing, life changing, and mind blowing. But come the 3^rd week, when you’re job becomes feedings and diaper changes, the magic of the moment loses its luster. The first 6 months of a baby’s life is well….boring. There’s a reason you freak out the first time they roll over, or point, or smile for real (instead of when they have gas). Because it’s the first exciting thing you’ve seen in months!

So it is with being laid off. You get geared up in the first few days, thinking, “Hey, it’s not so bad. Now I can do what I want”. But then, after a few weeks, doubt creeps in, and so does the drudgery of waking up knowing you have nowhere to go. I think it was sometime last week when the excitement of “doing what I want to do” was replaced by, “If I have to go to the park with my kids again today, I’m taking a hostage”. Plus, the overriding feeling of having to find a job – any job – just to make ends meet.

Yeah, my struggles are nothing new. And this is a little vain on my part. But this blog gives me something to do, aside from annoying recruiters all day long and using Linked In as my personal corporate matchmaking service. I’m going to keep writing here until I find a job. And then, when I do find a job, I’ll bitch about what a crappy job it is and that I should really do what I want to do.