Friday, December 4, 2009

HEY JEWISH KIDS! LOOK WHO WE HAVE INSTEAD OF SANTA CLAUS.

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

I think my earliest memory of Santa Clause is from the 2nd grade. The teacher had some project where all the kids in the class spent the afternoon writing and decorating letters to Santa. Everyone had cookies and popcorn. All while me and this Hindu boy had free time and just sat there working on our spelling homework. Thank you 1970s education system. Believe me I have nothing against Mr. C. I was never offended he chose to Passover our house. I just wished we had some sorta gift guy to look up to instead of a stupid oil lamp and latkes. Over the years there have been some potential candidates, but none have stuck like ol’ saint Nick.


HANUKKAH HARRY: Mr. Jon Lovitz took a shot with this SNL character in 1989. Jolly ol’ HH made two appearances and that was pretty much it. Oy.


SPINDERELLA (Dreidel): This is a game that deals with gambling away Jewish chocolate (Gelt). Got boring after 2 spins. In 2003, the gaming toy was transformed into an actual character (Spinderella) on this straight to VHS classic, Chanukah on Planet Matzah Ball.


MR. HANKEY: Made his first South Park appearance in 1997. Had staying power for a good 6 years. The idea was this loveable fecal matter didn’t discriminate against any boy or girl. He was pure holiday cheer for everyone. Tempted to buy the stuffed animal in '98, but I didn’t.


ADAM SANDLER (The Chanukah song): The only thing that has had any sorta staying power. In ’96, the first version of the song appeared on Sandler’s comedy album “What the Hell Happened to Me?” Since then there have been 2 more versions, and a cover done by Neil Diamond. Not too shabby.


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