Saturday, December 26, 2009


Can’t give away this individual’s identity so lets just call him Thor (The God of Thunder) for now. I guess it’s going on 18 years ago when Thor (after 5.6 Zimas) admitted to such a lewd act. Though he did preface it by saying that this was shown to him by countless others in his social circle. Anyway, if you still have the stones or morbid curiosity to continue on, here are his 10 easy steps to MAKING LOVE TO A CANTALOUPE. Again, I AM IN NO WAY ENDORSING THIS TYPE OF PRODUCE PLEASURE, just simply recalling an amusing tale.

Step 1. Choose a healthy looking cantaloupe or honeydew melon.

Step 2. On one side cut a hole big enough for your penis to comfortably enter the melon.

Step 3. On the other side make a small hole as big as an eraser, and make sure it reaches all the way to the vagina side.

Step 4. Heat the melon, but not for too long (try intervals of 15 seconds before you achieve the right temperature.) MAKE SURE IT'S NOT SCALDING HOT!

Step 5. On the vagina side, squirt in some baby oil or other form of preferred lubrication.

Step 6. Firmly grab melon and lower to crotch level.

Step 7. Insert penis.

Step 8. While pulling out penis place finger on hole on the other side (this should create a type of suction that will add more pleasure to the experience...I guess.)

Step 9. Discard cantaloupe.

Step 10. Never tell another living soul.

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