Friday, December 25, 2009


by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

In my house the Christmas merriment doesn’t last one day…no sir. Try 3 days!!! My wife and I have been blessed with a crapload of immediate family. Relatives who just love to come out of the woodwork from all over to celebrate with us. And unfortunately, they don’t seem to get the hint that Jesus’s B-day ends at 11:59pm tonight. Nope, they’ll be here ‘til around Saturday / Sunday-ish. Which definitely puts a cramp on my tug-time. The only place I can hope to have a remote chance of any type of peace and quiet is in the shower. Though that isn’t even guaranteed, except if you take the following measures.

Step 1. Shower After-hours: Once old and young are in bed (including the wife.)

Step 2. Erotic Equipment: Sneak in all visual aids (Maxim, Stuff, Victoria Secret catalog) you need hidden within the pages of a newspaper.

Step 3. Tug Prep: As soon as you enter the bathroom lock the door and turn the shower on. You should have at least 3.5 minutes to access the visual materials (for mental image purposes) before the wife starts wondering what’s taking so long.

Step 4. Lube It: To quicken the masturbatoral experience use a water safe lubrication like soap or shaving gel which won’t arouse suspicion from the wife.

Step 5. Exit Strategy: Make sure secretions are cleaned off floor of the tub and mags are safely tucked away in the newspaper before leaving bathroom.

Step 6. Done: Enjoy a good night sleep.

Stumble Upon Toolbar


  1. I will never, ever understand men. If your wife is there, why not just jump her bones once everyone's asleep?

  2. Greеtіngs! Very helpful aԁvice іn thiѕ particulaг post!
    It is the lіttle changeѕ that will make the biggest
    changeѕ. Thanks a lot for sharіng!

    Also visit mу web blog: Single Trip Travel Insurance


Custom Search