Thursday, December 10, 2009

GET ALL KISSY, SMOOCHY UNDER THE PARASITIC VAMPIRE.


by KC (NWM Staff Writer)

In a handful of days it will officially be legal to inappropriately make out with anyone as long as you are under the sacred Mistletoe. Though honestly, this plant is totally not worthy of all this cheery, positive praise. In fact, this vampire with roots should be destroyed on sight. Just as a Twilighters suck the blood from victims to live, the Mistletoe too preys on innocent leafy, woody organisms. This parasitic plant will attach itself to a tree and send its root like structures into the tissue in order to lap up every ounce of nourishment it can get. Unfortunately it usually ends up killing that plant and sometimes even itself. Another pleasantly horrific characteristic of Mistletoe is how it disperses seeds. The berry of the Mistletoe plant will explode and shoot the seeds up to distances of 50 feet. Birds then usually eat ‘em up and pass these festive killers onto other unsuspecting plants. 

Merry Christmas!

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