Of course it’s good news that family and friends will reunite with the Chilean miners as early as this Friday. Who wouldn’t be elated? I mean they’ve been trapped since Aug. 5th. I just think there is a flipside to all of this. Would it be the worse thing in the world if the rescuers stick with the original plan? Pull ‘em out of the hole at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve (Eastern Time of course).
WHY WOULD YOU THINK SUCH A THING?
Historically X-mas Eve is the lamest night for programming. You’re choices are A Christmas Story marathon on TBS, a Yule Log, and a midnight mass. Truth be told I’d much rather be watching a Live breaking news feed of the miners being rescued. THE MINING MIRACLE OF 2010. The world would be glued to their sets. TV ratings would be through the roof on an otherwise dull night.
SEARS® could sponsor the media-event and host a huge ONE DAY MINING MIRACLE SALE on all Craftsman Power Drills.
Walt Disney Pictures® could even make a MINING MIRACLE movie starring the guy from La Bamba & Caprica (Esai Morales).
It’d be a true Christmas Miracle for our ailing economy. And all we have to do is rescue these “hole heroes” just a smidge later. Either way they’re getting out of the mine.
Just some festive food for thought.
so, where can I get my 2010 mining miracle products?
ReplyDeleteI think you might burn in hell for this one.
ReplyDeleteAM I EVIL FOR SUGGESTING WE STILL WAIT ‘TIL X-MAS TO RESCUE THE CHILEAN MINERS?
ReplyDeleteummmm... not if you were the miner who's girlfriend AND his wife turned up looking for him. he's real fuckin happy to hang down there til Kingdom come, let alone Xmas...
stonerphonic - they are holding the vigil for him TOGETHER. WTH?
ReplyDeleteOh, and copyboy, they are doing it for the canadian thanksgiving. wth. The canucks get EVERYTHING.
Yes, you are truly evil, sick, and twisted. That's why we keep coming back for more.
ReplyDeletexo
Depends... was I evil a couple weeks back for suggesting that they were lazy, not doing any work while they were down there?
ReplyDeleteYou are not evil - just a brilliant coporate programmer - 80 share anyone? I know that America is sad that the trapped aren't American miners so they could totally use their rescue for political gains. I was cynically surprised that both the Republicans and the Democrats didn't entomb their own groups of miners so they could race each other to get them out. Maybe in 2012. On a side note, it's an amazingly compelling human interest story that speaks more to the humanity capable in all of us and against business practices that got them trapped in the first place. I know I will be watching them come to freedom. I wonder if they drew straws to see who would be first and who would be last because that is the ones we will remember.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you suggest it to the miners and then let them take a vote? Be sure to give them your name and address so they can thank you personally when they get out.
ReplyDeleteIt's the perfect definition of holiday cheer! Maybe all the rescue workers could dress like Santa!
ReplyDeletehaha that's horrible!!!
ReplyDeleteAnother stroke of genius, Jesse!
ReplyDeleteNow if we could just find a way to get their oil...
not evil
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great idea...get a petition going and I'll be happy to sign. Just don't ask me to circulate it...as much as I hate Xmas eve TV...truth is I'm typically drunk sitting out on one of the cars parked on the lawn with my ex in laws doing the ever so popular "grita" to care...but it's a genius idea.
ReplyDeletei would agree but i fucking love that TBS marathon of A christmas story.
ReplyDeleteYup, you're twisted. A marketing genius, but twisted.
ReplyDeleteWholly inappropriate and wholly funny!
ReplyDeleteMy Dad Was Trapped in a Mine for Months and All I Got Was This Lousy Tee-Shirt,
Pearl
Please always use your powers for good....not evil....
ReplyDeletebuwahahahaha
Hey, I don't want to even SEEM to agree with you, but a few of those miners are pretty big and the escape chute looks really small...they should diet like crazy, or they WILL still be down there Christmas Eve!
ReplyDeleteGreat read! Looking forward to reading your next post.
ReplyDeleteWell, absolutely not! They'd probably get more interviews, more money from that movie, money from the t-shirts which would lead to more exposure for the cookbook they are likely putting together "Miner Meals in a Minute". You are thinking of their greater good, so I think you should actually win a prize or something.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is like a train wreck...you can't help but to take a second look!
ReplyDeleteP.S. You know I love your blog!!!!! xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteLOL.. This is the funniest damn thing I read all day.. Hell yeah, and have Santa and Rudolph pull up just in the "Nick" of time as the first miner is pulled out.. Too much you are...
ReplyDeleteYou might be evil. But at the same time, with all the talking of drilling and saving lives all I can think is that if Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck were there this would have been locked down already. Oh, and I still giggle like a little girl every time the news says the word "shaft".
ReplyDeleteNo more evil than I fucker...
ReplyDeleteThey are extremely clean shaven...anyone else notice? Are they really trapped underground?
ReplyDelete