Since I know you guys so well now I feel like I can share my deepest, darkest fear. So get this, I’m scared that I’m going to have a baby. And one day while caring for this baby I accidentally touch the soft spot on top of his (or her) head. And by “touch” I mean press it a bit too hard BY MISTAKE. Maybe it’ll happen when I’m dressing the kid. Feeding time. Who knows? I just worry that at that exact moment the kid’s left hand is going to shoot straight out and stay like that forever. Oh, and the baby will be too terrified to pronounce the letter “z” or the number “124” for the rest of his (or her) natural born life.
Now that we got my awkwardness over with, let’s get on with the GOOGLE AWKWARD SEARCH GAME. Here’s how you play – In the search area type in part of a statement or question. Then simply let Google finish it off. Here are some wicked examples (like the one above).
OH MAN! This is like a magic f*ckin' 8 ball :)
ReplyDeleteThese are always my very favorite posts. Vampires don't like period blood? Even they have their limits.
ReplyDeleteI think I threw up a little in my mouth when I got to "I like the taste of period blood." Nasty, nasty, nasty!
ReplyDeleteI think this qualifies as your grossest google search game post.
ReplyDeletexo
You'd be a GREAT Daddy and you know it! I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again!
ReplyDeleteVampires don't drink lemonade? Who knew?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry about that soft spot on the babies head. They're more durable than one would think.
It's good to know vampires don't drink lemonade!
ReplyDeleteI had to google 'my baby ate duck poop' one day and couldn't find any help but mine looked almost exactly like yours lol
This is going to keep me busy (and entertained) all day.
ReplyDeleteApparently a lot of people have questions concerning poop.
ReplyDeleteGoogle is a gold mine of humor that is for sure.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew ate his own poop once. True story. It's going to be fun making fun of him for that when he's a little older.
ReplyDeleteYou would so be a great daddy! So STFU! So as for what other peoplle have been searching... period blood GAH! I think I just vomited in my mouth again. It reminds me of a lovely forward that I got the other day. If I had your number I would send it to you but then again it would probably make you sick so never mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd this one time Peanut ate a red velvet cupcake and the next day her poop was red and my mom freaked out and called me crying. I laughed. For realz.
Vampires don't wear polka dots. Seriously? Enough people googled that so that it came up with it as an option???
ReplyDelete"blogs are godless communist bullshit"
ReplyDeletexD
There's a lot of poop in this post. I'm surprised you didn't say you were afraid of changing baby's poopy diapers.
ReplyDeleteThe soft spot is the most terrifying thing on the planet, I swear. It's also quite, quite disgusting. I'm just saying. It throbs in time with the baby's heartbeat, which is super freaky.
ReplyDeleteUgh.
What were we talking about?
I seriously just laughed till I cried. You're hysterical. I promise you won't damage your future baby's soft spot. He/She WILL pronounce the letter z and his/her left arm will have full range of motion.
ReplyDeleteGoing to do my own google search now! :)
prefer the babies eating, but having vampires don't sparkle ranked higher than exist is a plus in my book.
ReplyDeleteThat was so entertaining! Ha! What a great idea. You are crazy. The monotony of making so many copies must have really fiddled farted with your brain. I ALSO need to say that pressing that soft spot WON'T make the arm stick straight out. Instead, it makes your child flash the peace sign. It's the cutest thing.
ReplyDeleteSo vampires don't wear polka dots.....well I never would have guessed that one.
ReplyDeletehaha! how come I see 'poop' a lot! :P This is funny :P
ReplyDeleteI don't know about all that other stuff, but farting is indeed fun!
ReplyDeletewhy does google hate blogs so much? Did a blog touch google inappropriately in school?
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, the soft spot on a baby scared me too. I had three (not all at once) - they turned out semi-okay (LOL). Now for your google searches. I could have sworn vampires wore polka dots. In fact I saw one the other night . . . wearing polka dots. =D Love this!
ReplyDelete