Sure these gems are clichéd to death. Yet if I personally see any of ‘em up on the big screen, rest assured I’ll end up in the fetal position peeing my pants and crying like a little girl.
#1 – GHOST KID
Why I cry like a bitch? Seeing those dark, beady little eyes on that white pasty body…YEESH!!! Add a hissing cat to the mix and I’m done for the night.
#2 – THE OL’ CLOSING THE MEDICINE CABINET ROUTINE
Movies: American Werewolf in London, Shaun of the Dead, and a zillion others.
Why I cry like a bitch? The sudden surprise shock followed by an eerie expression on the freaky monster's face (see for yourself).
#3 –RUNNING IN THE SHADOWS
Movie: Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Why I cry like a bitch? It usually happens in the “calm before the blood ‘n guts storm” portion of the movie. The protagonist is also somewhat oblivious to it. So of course I’m mentally screaming, ”HEY MORON! TURN AROUND YOU’RE ABOUT TO…" [SLICE] Too late. :(
#4 – ANYTHING MADE OF WOOD, PLASTIC, OR CERAMIC
Movies: Poltergeist, Child’s Play, and Dead Silence
Why I cry like a bitch? You see the doll like a zillion times not moving (to build up the tension). Then BLAMO, the lightning crashes and the doll moves its head or blinks. Mommy!!!!
#5 – THE BAMBI-LIKE STARE RIGHT BEFORE THEY FALL TO PIECES
Movies: Resident Evil 2, Ghost Ship, Final Destination 2, etc.
Why I cry like a bitch? The scary part is not that they just got hacked to death. It’s the fact that they get cut up so fast the peeps don’t realize it. Then slowly they fall part. That sad expression right before the first slab falls freaks the $#@$ out of me.
#6- SILVER BALLS OF DEATH
Movies: Phantasm 2
Why I cry like a bitch? These little silver balls have all kinds of drills and hacksaws. Then they just fly around decapitating people and chopping off body parts for 90 minutes. Trust me, it's a lot scarier than it sounds.
I hate scary movies. I will do them but then I have to follow it with a Sweet Home Alabama or a Friday or I'm not sleeping!
ReplyDelete# 1 and # 4 creepy but Im more scared of #4 i hate that clown thanks for tonights nightmare ahead of time! If I have a bad dream I will surely COme back to Bitch about it! My brother had a clown like that growing up oh how i hated it!
ReplyDeleteI do NOT do scary movies, so I had to gloss over the pictures and only read the ways in which you are a total poon.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, my old bathroom at my mom's house has a GIAAANT mirror. I'm talking, this bad boy is ceiling to floor on one entire wall (OK, just to the countertop on half the wall but you can watch your ass muscles twitch while on the toilet. It's FREAKY)
Anyway, if you're standing at the counter and the door to the closet is open, it's like there's this vast deep space. I used to think that the wolf thing from the neverending story lived there. As in, I would open & slam that damn door so fast that it would scare people.
Yes, the neverending story is too scary for me.
i DONT DO super scary movies [ but somehow end up watching them anyways] Th clown is fucking devilish looking! and the rest i think i could deal with as long as i dont sleep alone hahahhah ... now the tv show "ghost adventures" keeps me up making sure there are no ghosts in my house
ReplyDeleteNow, see, I'd think you'd envy the silver balls of death.
ReplyDeleteFloured up asian kids are always scary
ReplyDeleteI do do (lol...do do) scary movies. And I had no problem with your post. But then you went and played the clown card. I hate clowns and I'm afraid of clowns and I avoid clowns...
ReplyDeleteIf I had a "best blog post title award." This one would get it. "dip an asian kid in flour" is an instant classic...
As a matter of fact, I award you with your own blog post of the day award.
Just reading your post gave me the creeps--scary movies make me cry. Hubby, on the other hand, completely loves them. I just don't get it.
ReplyDeletethese are pretty scary
ReplyDeleteCats get me. Why do people have to have cats? Can't they put a bell around it's neck? Cats always lurking about, waiting to jump out. lol
ReplyDeleteThat was funny as hell. Dipped Asians are scary. LOL
ReplyDeletelol fuckin great list xDDDD
ReplyDeleteYeah, those floured up asian kids are scary, unless you're a pedophile :|
ReplyDeleteSilver balls of death get me, too.
ReplyDeletegreat post man...good work
ReplyDeleteGreat list! And all scared the beegeezus out of me too! Those silver balls of death traumatized me when I was little. Pinging into peoples heads. YUCK!
ReplyDeleteI do not *do* scary movies. At all. Even Signs scared the crap out of me! But...this cracked me out.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE scary movies and my husband hates them so I usually end up watching them by myself and getting the shit scared out of me. So can you come and watch scary movies with me?? And I have never seen Phantasm before. I may have to search that out. Also the clown from Poltergeist is why I refuse to let my kids have any clowns and why I won't hang my feet over my bed at night. They must be tucked in properly under my blanket or I freak.
ReplyDeletewhy does the babysitter always trip and fall when she's been chased by the baddies?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE scary movies!
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent list....
ReplyDeleteI especially agree with numbers one and two.
Haha, that powdered Asian kid is creepy.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is teaching me all about scary movies. Now he is showing me the Nightmare on Elm Street movies for the first time. They are awesome.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. There's also the scene in which she pulls out her cell phone to call for help.."Damn. No signal!" xo
ReplyDeleteHahah, great! I love lists like these! Silver death balls are always scary. Any type of ball that can kill you are pretty scary in my book.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Ju-on still stares the crap out of me. I love it and watch it....but is makes me want to sleep with the light on. :)
ReplyDeleteCheers!
that was quite the oddball post
ReplyDeleteWhy did I come here, now you reminded me of Ghost Ship-----shiver--------Creepiest scene eva'
ReplyDeleteI'll never sleep tonight!!!
this looks like a cool movie
ReplyDeleteI want to theck out that movie with the powdery Asian kid
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me? The slow walk of the killer than somehow always lets him easily catch up to your run.
ReplyDeleteOh, I can't do scary movies anymore. Too old. Too decrepit. Like I'll crap in my pants, decrepit.
ReplyDeleteaisan kids are scary >.<, and i luv horor movies :D
ReplyDeleteSeriously..that Asian kiddo is freaky! Imagine your kid looking like that and waking you up in the night after having a bad dream...I would shat myself!
ReplyDelete