Tuesday, November 9, 2010

6 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT A DUTCH OVEN.






#1- Performing this act without your significant other’s knowledge is known as a Dutch Oven Surprise.




#2- The Better Marriage Blanket contains odor absorbing molecules that make up the first and ONLY Dutch Oven proof blanket.



#3 - Zachary performs a Dutch Oven on Theodore in Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.



#4 - A Rolling Dutch Oven (or Detroit Dutch Oven) is closing up all the windows in a car proceeded by expelling a rancid fart.



#5 - A Dutch Exit is farting in the elevator just before you exit it. 




#6- The average temperature of a Dutch Oven is a balmy 87.5°.

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45 comments:

  1. hahahhaa i wonder how they got 87.5. who brought the thermometer?

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  2. hahaha! the better marriage blanket is funny :P

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  3. Regarding the Dutch Oven Surprise, is there any other kind? Do people willingly go under the blankets to breathe in a concentrated cloud of flatulence?

    And of all the nationalities, why Dutch?

    Anyway, as always, very instructive.

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  4. @Nazario I think the origin of the expression comes from an actual ceramic/clay pot called a 'dutch oven' which is used to cook food in, trapping the smell and flavours inside.

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  5. I need that blanket now! The one who made up these things must have not liked the Dutch. I'm sure 86.3% of the readers find this very interesting.

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  6. @archiepattersons Thanks for clarifying that, although after that description of the original Dutch oven, I find its flatulent counterpart even more repulsive now.

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  7. I choose all my blankets based on their odor absorbency. Who doesn't?

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  8. Nope. You're right. Definitely didn't know that. Wow. Gross about the use of the word "balmy" lol

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  9. You can also make a killer pot roast in it.

    Oh wait...wrong dutch oven.

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  10. What if you dutch oven yourself and are still surprised? Sometimes I look around wondering who could have snuck in and done that. Because girls don't fart.

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  11. I saw the infomercial for the blanket thing about 5 months ago--and blogged about it then.

    I couldn't stop laughing.

    And you know some idiot is gonna get it for his wife as a joke this Christmas. Thereby negating the need for it, cause he'll be sleeping on the sofa for the next year...

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  12. I thought this was going to be a cooking lesson.

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  13. I should have known better than to think this post would be about cookware. Here's the main fact I choose to take away from this. You watched the Chipmunks sequel.

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  14. Dutch Exit! LMAO! My hubs keeps insisting that we need to get one of those damn blankets.

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  15. Dutch ovens are fun... I dole one of those out every so often

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  16. nice, looking forward to the next update

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  17. I am now well-versed in the info of the dutch oven

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  18. Where were you to impart this invaluable info when I needed it?
    xoRobyn

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  19. well, I reckon i do remember the elevator bit, however, I would add two things to the sequence.
    Just as you exit the elevator, let fly and wave with a heaty "Sorry,"
    and
    Step back as far as possible to get a close cut, and walk away clean.

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  20. Loved it...very educational for me. Never knew how a Dutch exit "worked". LOL

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  21. Awww the squirrels, lol. I need to try dat

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  22. so did Ashley inspire you? She was just asking about this the other day.

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  23. No way!! They do not make a blanket for this...do they really?!!! Don't show my hubby!!! He'll be buying one, and all my fun will be BUSTED!

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  24. hahaha, What did I just read. I never even heard of dutch oven before.

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  25. thank you very dutch! Some things I never knew:)

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  26. So how did this whole thing get stuck on the Dutch in the first place?
    It's funny you used the Cheech & Chong photo. Back in the day, we called a car with the windows rolled up that was full of pot smoke a dutch oven also.
    You are a genius!

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