Tuesday, November 23, 2010

USE MY CAN’T MISS BLOODY COUGH TRICK TO START THANKSGIVING BREAK EARLY.


Thanksgiving should be changed to SUCKSgiving (copyright pending).
Ok, ok, a bit harsh, but not totally uncalled for. My whole beef with this holiday is with the pre-game stuff. If you’re hosting the holiday you go nuts dealing with all the cooking, the setting up, and planning where weird uncle Pete is going to bunk so he doesn’t have to stay in your kid’s room. 
Rushing to these titanic turkey feasts ain’t no picnic either. Crawling traffic. Crammed trains and planes. What we all need is just a smidge extra time, and I can get it for you. That is if YOU USE MY BLOODY COUGH TRICK.

What you need…


Red Sharpie Pen

Brown Napkin

Important meeting



What you need to do…


STEP 1: Use the Sharpie to color an intense red blotch on a brown napkin.

STEP 2: During an important early morning, Wednesday meeting, cough at random times.


STEP 3: Start coughing into your red-stained napkin.


STEP 4: After a rather harsh cough display the red stained napkin.
FYI…You probably need to work on a better shocked face than mine. 


THE RESULT: Your worried boss will signal you to leave immediately. Grab your things, run out the door and POOF you’ve just begun THANKSGIVING BREAK EARLY.
You’re welcome!

Stumble Upon Toolbar

44 comments:

  1. This is amazing. I feel the same way about Thanksgiving right now. I know I should be looking forward to being with family, but all the work that goes into it makes me not enjoy this holiday. I just may try this bloody cough trick this thanksgiving.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is brilliant until the CDC comes knocking at your door to investigate you for ebola.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL I got to do this in school so I can get an early thanks giving break

    ReplyDelete
  4. good idea, although i can't miss any work lol, i don't get sick days

    ReplyDelete
  5. This seems awfully close to another trick you've used to get out of work. Are you sure they're not going to start getting suspicious of all these incidents? Or worse, possibly call in specialists?

    ReplyDelete
  6. hahahaha, that's very creative. I wish had been used that trick when I was working at a gas station in graveyard ;_; and I worked in Christmas....

    ReplyDelete
  7. If only I can do that with school...

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Like TS, I'm a bit skeptical. I believe you pulled this one before. Your boss must be awfully gullible. xo

    ReplyDelete
  9. That was a slightly different trick that involved volunteering to leave the office to pick up beer for a happy hour party. And then having to deal with a fake credit card mishap.

    ReplyDelete
  10. And also a not very intelligent boss...

    ReplyDelete
  11. This could work with the addition of some realistic weathering and detail work. As it is, it's not very convincing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My whole beef with the holiday is there is no beef! Fuck turkey!

    ReplyDelete
  13. May or may not work based on the business you work for. Some companies will require full health inspections by personal and professional healthcare administrators before allowing re-entrance to your place of work after a display like that.

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol, very cunning! Ican imagine me doing this to get out of stuff

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you for the blog of the day button! YOU RULE! I am going to try the bloody cough trick in my next meeting...I may pass out seeing it though, I don't like blood even if it is fake

    ReplyDelete
  16. That is a good one to pull on your boss. I liked that so much I am still grinning. You're speaking my language. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Nice. I already have the cough...now I just need to find a stray red Sharpie floating around somewhere in the clinic.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haha- that's awesome. GL to anyone trying this. :)

    Following.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hahah, sweet trick. I'm interested in what other things I can learn from you. Following.

    ReplyDelete
  20. siiiiiiick prank! this will be a great excuse! lol

    ReplyDelete
  21. I used to do a coughing trick that involved a handful of tiny plastic Halloween spiders. Also very effective!

    ReplyDelete
  22. PS That's what ya get for having long-time, loyal followers. xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. Good thing we do not celebrate that day in my country xD

    ReplyDelete
  24. This blog was recommended to me, and from what I see I like. Following.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love it...for better effect, make sure you're sitting beside someone you don't like ;0)

    ReplyDelete
  26. I think my boss read this post, I couldn't find any red sharpies anywhere :( fml

    ReplyDelete
  27. First time visitor ... I usually sneeze into my hand, then show my boss all the ooey gooey ickiness dripping down between my fingers. Works for me.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I would just claim to be contagious and cough on everyone. It's worked for me in the past.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Finally! I can say I've been around long enough to remember that there was a similar trick you pulled once before! Now honestly, I have to say THAT time, I was shocked beyond belief. Nothing shocks me anymore. Ok - scratch that. Some things still do....you're not predictable enough yet! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hilarious! I might have to use this one on Thursday.

    ReplyDelete

 
Custom Search