Thanksgiving should be changed to SUCKSgiving (copyright pending).
Ok, ok, a bit harsh, but not totally uncalled for. My whole beef with this holiday is with the pre-game stuff. If you’re hosting the holiday you go nuts dealing with all the cooking, the setting up, and planning where weird uncle Pete is going to bunk so he doesn’t have to stay in your kid’s room.
Rushing to these titanic turkey feasts ain’t no picnic either. Crawling traffic. Crammed trains and planes. What we all need is just a smidge extra time, and I can get it for you. That is if YOU USE MY BLOODY COUGH TRICK.
What you need…
Red Sharpie Pen
What you need to do…
STEP 1: Use the Sharpie to color an intense red blotch on a brown napkin.
STEP 2: During an important early morning, Wednesday meeting, cough at random times.
STEP 3: Start coughing into your red-stained napkin.
STEP 4: After a rather harsh cough display the red stained napkin.
FYI…You probably need to work on a better shocked face than mine.
THE RESULT: Your worried boss will signal you to leave immediately. Grab your things, run out the door and POOF you’ve just begun THANKSGIVING BREAK EARLY.