Wednesday, November 10, 2010

USE THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY TO LIE, CHEAT, AND NEVER FORGET A BIRTHDAY


My memory ain’t what it used to be. Nice side effect of aging. I’m sure soon enough I’ll need to... 
- find a large index card
- write the important date nice and big (in permanent marker)
- then duct tape it to my face – just so I’ll remember it the next day.  
I think the worst part is forgeting a crap-load of birthdays. I’ll probably forget yours too. And that sucks! Mostly 'cause that’s something you can’t take back. Oh sure, the person says they don’t care, but deep down they do. WELL NO MORE!!! WHILE I WAS SOAPY AND NAKED IN THE SHOWER YESTERDAY I THOUGHT OF AN INGENIOUS – NAY, A REVOLUTIONARY WAY TO NEVER EVER GET NAILED FOR FORGETTING A BIRTHDAY.

Step 1. Forget a birthday (easy enough)
Unfortunately it has to be someone you’re not that close with. Someone you talk to mostly through email.


Step 2. Send a birthday eCard to a slightly different address
An example would be if your friend’s email is john.smith@Ovac.com, send it to john.smith@Ovic.com



Step 3. Wait for the email to get bounced back to you
It should look like this...




Step 4. Forward the Birthday eCard to the correct email
Apologize to your friend for screwing up the address, but NOT for forgetting his or her birthday….because in their mind ta da da daaa…YOU DIDN’T!!!
ALMOST FORGOT!!! Change the date on the original “wrong” email so it looks like you sent it on your friend's birthday.




Step 5. Celebrate a job well done 
My personal faves are a pack of Pretzel M&Ms (only 150 calories) with Tab.

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43 comments:

  1. I still can't believe "they" make tab

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  2. what if i forget these steps and where I read them? :(
    I'D BE FUCKED

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  3. My favourite part is where you celebrate a job well done. M&Ms for the win!

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  4. LOL! That hint is what I was looking for. But I will celebrate with chips and regular coke.

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  5. Or you can use Microsoft Outlook to remind yourself. I can relate to the decaying process.

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  6. Now heres an original and neat idea. Will def remember this one:) or you can use progams that auto send hapy birthdays ;)

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  7. I was wondering the same thing about Tab. They still make it? That's old stuff. Hope it still tastes good. Brilliant strategy for CYA with belated b-day wishes. xo

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  8. THIS IS DAMN GENIOUS!
    Thank you man. Thank you! Life will never be the same sad life again.

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  9. Good post! Looking forward to reading you next one

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  10. I'm stealing that idea and patenting it.

    Tab goes better with more Tab.

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  11. I've done that 2 years in a row... this year I hope to send husband his card on the correct day

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  12. I will do this for sure if I forget.

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  13. You never fail to crack me up!!! I'd love to glimpse the inner workings of your mind. Ha ha ha!

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  14. A most excellent idea. If only you could do this with speech. =P

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  15. Brilliant! You can be my social secretary henceforth.

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  16. this is great for me who always forgets, thanks

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  17. Sounds like a great idea. I guess I don't need to use that 'sorry I forgot about your birthday, guess we're not that close after all' card I've been holding onto.

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  18. interesting man...thanks for this

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  19. It is very possible that you are the smartest person in the world.

    I am hooked on pretzel M&Ms. Cannot get enough of them.

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  20. lol, I already do something like this

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  21. This is great!

    I just joined as a follower. Please check out my humor blog... never profane, never risque.

    www.funooze.com

    Thanks!

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  22. that gives me something to think about

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  23. I've done that! Not just birthdays...but to show "proof" that I did do something when I didn't. Hehe

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  24. You think of everything! You are so smart, Copyboy! Okay, I don't think I've ever had a Tab. Are you sure they still make those? Do you buy those from the dollar store? Pretzel M&Ms- my husband forbids me to buy them, but I still do. Mmm!!

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  25. The fact that you would drink Tab is a little scary and so 80's...I think it also can double as an emergency solution to a boiled over radiator on your car!

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  26. Tab still exists?
    I always forget bdays and now people just expect it of me. They will actually call me to say, "Today is my bday." So I can reply, "Well happy bday!" See how easy that is :)

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  27. I had no idea you could even still buy Tab! You teach me something every day.

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  28. I always pick my nose in traffic and get the feeling someone is watching me.

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  29. Still getting over thoughts of you soapy in the shower.......mmmmmmm.
    Oh yes where were we?
    Dam...guess I'll have to go and re read this again.
    Oh forgetting birthdays...Well I always give sex as a bday present...So no one gets mad at me for being late!

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  30. I'm a peanut M&M and diet pepsi kind of girl. I write everything down in a big calander then I go back through and set up 2 week reminders and the birthdays. I have way to many nieces and nephews (13 and counting) and siblings (8) so I can't forget!

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  31. Tab and M&M's together might kill you...
    I can used the advise in this post. I can't remember birthdays worth a crap! Even those in my own family...

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