BIRD POOP FACIAL? SURE, BRING IT ON!

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

Do you realize how much pain and torture I go through just to look half way decent on a subpar Match.com date? For starters, I’m lucky enough to be blessed with my (Eastern European) great grandmother’s genes. Not that she wasn’t an amazing lady. Far from it. From what I heard, she was known for her inner strength. Of course, I cry at the drop of the hat. No, what I inherited from great grandma Neta was her abnormal amounts of arm hair, wide birthing hips, bushy eyebrows and extra broad shoulders. Yay me! So yes, I’m used to the pain we ladies go through to look socially presentable (in the eyes of men and the cover of Sassy). However, now I’m finding I can add one more insult to my injury-filled routine – bird poop. Apparently it’s the latest rage in Paris. The Geisha “Bird Poop” facial is made with all natural ingredients like Japanese rice bran, natural enzymes and Ugisu (aka: Nightingale droppings). Supposedly this stuff gives you a natural glow with the porcelain looking skin of a geisha girl (hence the name). So now I need bird poop on my face to look good? Sure, bring it on. I mean, next to the waxing, plucking and cramming myself into outfits, a feces facial is a walk in the park. Unfortunately, it seems a bit out of my price range. Celebrities are paying something like $350 – $500 per visit. So unless they make a cheaper pigeon poop version, that’s too rich for my blood.

Check out Kathie Lee and Hoda taking bird crap.