I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE TRASH CHRISTMAS.

Here are all the recipes you need to have yourself a White Trash Christmas with all the trimmings.

STUFFED POSSUM

[Courtesy of Bertc.com]

• 1 possum (whole)
  
• 1 qt. cold water
  
• 1/8 cup salt
  
• 5 beef bouillon cubes
  
• 2 bay leaves
  
• 3 celery stalks (chopped)
  
• 2 onions (sliced)
  
• 1 bag packaged stuffing

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Soak possum in cold salt water for 10 hours. Rinse meat in cold water and refrigerate 2-4 hours. Prepare stuffing according to package directions. Stuff possum cavity with prepared packaged stuffing. Close cavity tightly. Place stuffed possum in roasting pan, add water, bouillon cubes, bay leaves, celery and onion. After 2 hours turn meat. Reduce heat to 300 degrees. Cook for 1 more hour. Test roast, if not done reduce heat and cook until done.

SPICY RATTLESNAKE PASTA

[courtesy of Rattlesnakerecipe]

• 1/4 cup olive oil
  
• 3 large garlic cloves, minced
  
• 1 28 oz can Italian tomatoes
  
• 1 dried hot red chilies, minced
  
• 1 tbsp. oregano
  
• 2 tsp. dried basil
  
• 2 tsp. black pepper
  
• 1 tsp. salt
  
• juice from 1/2 lemon
  
• 1/2 lb. rattlesnake meat
  
• 1 lb penne or pasta of choice

Simmer rattlesnake in water and lemon juice for 1 hour, remove and separate meat from bones. Combine de-boned meat with the rest of the ingredients (except pasta) in large saucepan and simmer for 1/2 hour. Cook pasta as normal and serve over cooked pasta.

HOLIDAY BEVERAGES

• 6 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon

Place in fridge for 2 hours. When guests arrive take out and remove plastic holder. Hand ‘em out. Serves 6.

FESTIVE HOLIDAY DESSERT

• Chocolate covered Pork Rinds

Open bag. Place in bowl. Serve with (or without napkins).