Tuesday, October 6, 2009

FULL PROOF PLAN FOR SNEAKING OUT OF WORK EARLY!


by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

This plan is 100% guaranteed to get you out of the office, no matter what time. If you’re like me, you’ve got one of those bosses that literally never goes home. My boss just sits there like some warden, typing some mysterious memo – and yet not completely eyeing the screen. The other half of the eyeball is glued to the office. Seeing if there are any people trying to escape before the workday’s officially done. To be honest, the sneaking out part is easy. Leaving with the jacket and briefcase in hand, that’s the tricky part. With this plan, you can do it right in front of the boss-man’s face and still won’t get caught. Here’s how it works.

WHAT YOU NEED:

Medium size box: Choose the one that holds all the copier paper. It’s just the right size and it has a removable cover.

Black Sharpie Marker: You’ll need it to label the box FILES. Make sure the letters are large and easy to read. If worse comes to worse, write FILES on more than one side.

OPTIMAL TIME TO ESCAPE:

I prefer to put my plan in motion when the big cheese gets a call from the spouse. Bosses' “corporate watch-dog” powers are at their lowest during personal calls. It takes them out of their game. Again, it can be done at any time, that’s just my personal preference.

THE PLAN:

In private, pack your jacket and briefcase in the box. Cover it up. When you’re ready to leave, grab the box and walk towards the file room. If your boss asks what you’re doing, simply say that you’re doing some early spring-cleaning and moving files to the storage area. When you’re out of view of your boss, ditch the box someplace safe (so it can be used again), grab your coat and briefcase, and head for the elevator or door. Home free and out early.

PLEASE NOTE: The box trick should not be done multiple days in a row, so not to arouse suspicion and ruin the trick for future use.

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