The legal elves in brand companies work countless hours coming up with the perfect jargon that will cover everyone’s butts and make us feel 2 IQ points higher than a sea sponge. Here are my top 5 nominees…
#5-[soda]
CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE. CAP MAY BLOW OFF CAUSING EYE OR OTHER SERIOUS INJURY. POINT AWAY FROM FACE AND PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHILE OPENING.
#4-[public bathroom sink]
WATER TEMPERATURE OVER 125°F CAN CAUSE SEVERE BURNS INSTANTLY OR DEATH FROM SCALDS.
#3- [Airfield]
DANGER. MOVING PROPELLERS RIP OFF HEADS.
#2- [t-shirt Iron on kit]
DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING A SHIRT.
And #1- [Brand of peanuts]
WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.
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