Thursday, October 22, 2009

TOP 5 WARNING LABEL WARNINGS.


The legal elves in brand companies work countless hours coming up with the perfect jargon that will cover everyone’s butts and make us feel 2 IQ points higher than a sea sponge. Here are my top 5 nominees…

#5-[soda]

CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE. CAP MAY BLOW OFF CAUSING EYE OR OTHER SERIOUS INJURY. POINT AWAY FROM FACE AND PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHILE OPENING.

 

#4-[public bathroom sink]

WATER TEMPERATURE OVER 125°F CAN CAUSE SEVERE BURNS INSTANTLY OR DEATH FROM SCALDS.

 

#3- [Airfield]

DANGER. MOVING PROPELLERS RIP OFF HEADS.

 

#2- [t-shirt Iron on kit]

DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING A SHIRT.

 

And #1- [Brand of peanuts]

WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.

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