So if you’re like me, after the Thanksgiving feast all you want to do is undo that belt and crawl into a fetal position on the couch. Then veg out to a movie or 3. Since I’m ridonkulously full I really don’t want anything in the cinematic heavy drama category…just mindless action-drenched B-movies. So without further adieu here are my top 3 Turkey Treasure Flick Picks…
HUDSON HAWKE (1991) Stars Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello and Andie Macdowell.
Synopsis: Tommy and Eddie (Danny and Bruce) are former cat burglars looking to walk the straight and narrow path. Unfortunately, two billionaire financiers have different plans for them. Eventually (through blackmail) Tommy and Eddie are forced to travel to Vatican City to steal three of Da Vinci’s most prized, secret inventions. Along the way Eddie finds love with a Vatican art restorer (played by Andie MacDowell). Mayhem ensues.
Why it’s a turkey: A little too “screwball comedy” at times. Bruce mails in his performance…not even Live Free or Die Hard IV worthy.
Why it’s a treasure: Danny and Bruce’s musical heist duets. Hilarious cameos by Sandra Bearnhard. Decent early 90s visual effects.
Best line: Minerva Mayflower (Sandra B.): If you see the big guy, tell him he's a loser.
INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996) Stars Will Smith, Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum.
Synopsis: Aliens suddenly arrive all over earth. After a tense standoff the evil E.T.s destroy everything in site. Though earth hasn't given up hope yet. Thanks to help from a strong-willed president (Bill), a renegade air force pilot (Will) and an environmentally conscious computer geek (Jeff).
Why it’s a turkey: Way too serious at times. Unnecessarily shoehorns in an environmental message. Judd Hirsch’s performance is a little too Catskills comedian for my tastes.
Why it’s a treasure: Bad-ass destruction scenes. Brent Spiner plays a decent mad scientist, and a drunk Randy Quaid.
Best Line: Capt. Steven Hiller (Will S.): Welcome to earth!
THEY LIVE (1988) Stars Rowdy Roddy Piper (of Piper’s Pit fame) and directed by John Carpenter.
Synopsis: A homeless, construction worker George Nada finds magic sunglasses. Once he puts them on it reveals the true reality of earth: hidden, evil subliminal messages and ugly aliens posing as humans. Nada then realizes it is up to him to find other real humans and put an end to this secret alien race, one way or another.
Why it’s a turkey: Piper’s performance.
Why it’s a treasure: Piper’s performance. The scenes when the glasses reveal stuff.
Best Line: George Nada (Roddy P.): You're okay. This one, real f--cking ugly.
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