Friday, November 20, 2009

HOW TO PERFORM A PROPER LAP DANCE FOR YOUR MATE.


by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

My guide is not obviously for young starlets hoping to jump right off the bus from Kansas and make a go at pole dancing in the big city. My tips are for all you ladies looking to add a little spice to your marriage or relationship. And hey, if you make an extra twenty and/or 4 or 5 crumpled ones out the deal, even better.

Step 1. Before starting tell him this is like any other strip club he’s claimed not to visit. Rules are hands off the ladies, and this is no exception.

Step 2. Choose a song that’s not too slow, but not crazy club speed either.

Step 3. Pick an outfit that’s not just sexy, but easy to move in like a schoolgirl or office slut.

Step 4. Start 4-6 feet away from your significant other who should be sitting in a chair.

Step 5. Slowly gyrate your hips. At this point your hands can explore your body while your clothes are still on.

Step 6. Dance towards him slowly, once you are close place one foot between his legs and one hand on the chair.

Step 7. Now place both hands on the chair, sway your hips, arch your back and slowly bend down and then up again.

Step 8. Keep your eyes on him while slowly moving around his body. At this point you are inches from him, but have not made contact.

Step 9. Move in even closer and start to loosen your shirt to expose a hint of cleavage. Go close to his face, without touching him.

Step 10. Now it’s time to make contact. Move to the music and playfully use your hands to explore his body, but don't touch his private area. Your head can also teasingly move toward that region and up again.

Step 11. Start dialing up the heat by pushing your breasts in his face, then twirl around so you are facing away from him. Now sit on his lap while gyrating your bottom. Guaranteed there will be no steps needed after that.

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