Wednesday, November 4, 2009


by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

Went home last weekend to visit the folks and (like clockwork) I found out 2 new family bombshells my parent neglected to tell me.

  1. My Uncle Josef is leaving my Aunt Girt.
  2. My Gammy was once possessed by Satan.

The first one I can give thanks to the 52 yr. old skank that works the pro-shop at my Uncle’s country club. The second one I can give credit to the 1923 Brooklyn education system, oh and the fact that Gamms was a lefty. Back then all left-handed people were thought to be evil or more appropriate, sinister (comes from the Latin word sinestra). It means “evil” or “left”. Why left? Here’s the F’d up part. The Ancients actually believed that the devil baptized all of his evil minions with his left hand. This belief then somehow polluted our school system ‘til the early 1900s. As a result, any child that was a lefty would have to learn to write with their right hand to exorcize the demon. To do this a teacher would actually tie the kid’s evil left hand behind their back while practicing penmanship. Apparently it worked. The devil left Gammy (no pun intended) and left (still no pun intended) her ambidextrous. Coincidentally Uncle Josef is also a lefty. He was never corrected. The results speak for themselves.

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