Tuesday, November 10, 2009


by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

First off, let me just say that I love my wife and two daughters. I also REALLY love to masturbate. It’s been a fun hobby that has served me well since I was around 13. As I got older my priorities in life changed, but never my need for beating the snake. Unfortunately as of late, one seems to cut into the other a bit more than I’d like. Now I have work and house stuff to do. I have kids that need to be dropped off at school and all their other extracurricular activities. Plus I’ve got play-dates, birthday parties at little kid gyms…let’s just say I have a full plate. Still, I am determined. Which means I WILL always find a way to fit in at least two tugs a day. No matter what. Here are my usual "tickle the pickle" times.

MORNING SHOWER (7:34am): At this time of day my wife is fixing breakfast for the kids. So they are all pretty much occupado. I can usually get about 15 minutes of pure alone time.

Positives: Lots of lubricant and the ability to clean off quickly.

Negatives: No access to spank materials.

LATE NIGHT IN THE BASEMENT (10:32PM): Kids and the wife are asleep so I have about 3 plus hours at my disposal.

Positives: High-speed desktop computer with a 20” LCD monitor.

Negatives: Thin walls so I need to use headphones for video files. Door to basement doesn’t lock.


LAPTOP IN DEN (2:23PM): At this time I have almost 2 hours and change. The wife is picking up the girls at soccer, then grabbing something for dinner.

Positives: Have access to the laptop and DVD player (for secret porn stash) – whatever strikes my fancy.

Negative: Can’t guarantee the kids and wife won’t come home early and catch daddy in the act.

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