Thursday, February 25, 2010


by JC (NWM Staff Writer)

It’s totally true. And I’m blowing the lid on it. If you ever go to a restaurant with a large party, it stands to reason you’re all going to order different dishes. One person will get the Baked Ziti, another will have the fish, and an adventurous soul might try the Paella. Of course since everything has a different prep time most likely one person will be the odd man out. He or she will be served 5 minutes after everyone else.

Now the etiquette rule clearly states THOU SHALL NOT START YOUR DISH BEFORE EVERYONE IS SERVED. You can pick at your fries. That doesn’t count. Anyhow, if the person (without the dish) is of the Jewish persuasion, here’s how it will go down. In a clear (bordering on loud voice) these exact "guilt-laced" words will be uttered...

“Please eat! Seriously! Your food is getting cold! I’m totally fine! EAT!”

Usually it will be followed by "pleading-like" hand gestures. The reason? It's the simple fact that Jews get turned on by guilt. It’s like we're all stuck with this bubbie (Yiddush grandma) chromosome. We just can’t help ourselves. I know I’ve done it a bunch of times and I’ve loved every minute of it. Something about other people enjoying their food while I'm waiting for my dish gets me off.

Jews are the true martyrs of mealtime. So now you know.

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  1. This is so effin hilarious and true, but for my people too! Not only does this food thing hold true for their actual table, but I'm sure you've heard your mother, aunt or grandma say, "Ooomigawd, those people came in AFTER us and they were served BEFORE us!" The horror!

    Jews and Italians are soooo similar as I'm sure you know. For real. The guilt. The food. The nanas/bubbies. Great post!

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

  2. BAHAHA why are you letting out all of our secrets! Hey keep the Elijah thing on the down low LOL

  3. Can't just be Jews. My family's the same way and I'm not Jewish. Well not that I know of.

    Word Verification = DeadIsFo

    It's like it's trying to pass a message along.

  4. I need to eat with more jews.... I'm not good at waiting....

  5. OMG! Are you like in my family? My mother, father, grandparents, sister and yes I do it as well. It's like a Jewish sickness! Can you imagine if you are eating with a large group of Jews ( say the break fast after Yom Kippur) and 5/8 did not get their food? Everyone saying to one another, "Eat! Please! I'm telling you I'm fine, just eat your lunch Morty!"


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