Thursday, February 18, 2010

30 DECENT MADE-UP EXCUSES TO GET OUT OF STUFF.


A white lie is a minor fib you use to be polite or achieve a goal. Number one reason to use it is to get out of going somewhere (doing something). Now I’ve known friends who can just toss ANY white lie out there and not give it a second thought. I was about to say as a Jew I could never do that. Though honestly, I’d say Catholics, Italians, southerners and I’m sure some other denominations or cultures would also have a problem with that – specifically with 2 lie themes...

  • Family illness
  • Family misfortune

Using either is almost like taunting fate. Daring Karma to give you one giant bitch slap. Unfortunately, those are probably the easiest ones to use. But it’s still not impossible to come up with others. In fact, the following 30 excuses are not only believable, but are also guaranteed to get you out of the entire “annoying thing” you’re trying to miss.


1- “My boss needs me around to deal with some client emergency!”

2- “I’m screwed! We have a leak in our apartment, and I have to be around to let the super in.”

3- “Ugh! I told my parents I’d help ‘em move some stuff around.”

4- “I have an out-of-town friend staying with me.”

5- “The kids stuffed up the toilet so I’m waiting for the plumber.”

6- “Going to my buddy’s wedding out of town.”

7- “I have my kid’s soccer game, plus end of season party today.”

8- “I promised my sister I’d watch her kids.”

9- “Deliver guys are supposed to drop off our new couch today.”

10- “Invited to my cousin’s engagement party.”

11- “Got this after work thing I really should make an appearance at.”

12- “Kinda told my buddy I’d be around for him tonight. He just broke-up with his girlfriend.”

13- “Oh, I’m doing a mini-marathon that day.”

14- “Dang! That’s the same day as my company picnic.”

15- “Meeting my accountant tonight to go over the taxes.”

16- “I have that dentist appointment right smack in the middle of the day.”

17- “We’re working on a huge client pitch at work, and my boss told me I’d need to be around this weekend.”

18- “Promised my buddy I’d help him move into his apartment.”

19- “Taking my kid to a pool birthday party. We sorta know the couple, so we might stay after a bit.”

20- “My wife already took the car, and the other one is in the shop.”

21- “I got invited to my old college friend’s bachelor party.”

22- “I have to go to some alumni mixer, could be a good networking opportunity.”

23- “I need to polish up a huge presentation I’m giving on Monday.”

24- “My kid has some bake sale, charity carwash thing at school that I volunteered to help out at.”

25- “Can’t get a sitter for the kids.”

26- “We have no power downstairs so I’m waiting for the electrician.”

27- “I have my kid’s band concert tonight.”

28- “Got the contractor coming over to the house today.”

29- “Wife and I made an appointment with the realtor to look at houses.”

30- “Have my cousin’s kid's bar mitzvah.”



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24 comments:

  1. Seriously parents get out of everything. Anyone we know that has kids even if the kid is like a month old get out of going to parties, etc.

    It's always "oh baby is sick" or "baby has a doctor appointment" ... I once told my husband I wanted to pop out a kid just to get us out of attending annoying shit all the time. Ha ha!

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  3. Hey you got the pedophile comment. I got one of those the other day.

    Nice list. I'm going to have to keep that handy, especially with my aunt coming in to town next week.

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  4. My kids get me out of everything.... And if that doesn't work, I get to blame it on the wife....

    She doesn't care, as long as it gets us out of spending time with people we don't really want to spend time with....

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  15. The thirty excuses can only work if one DOES have kids, parents, a job, etc. I'm older, have no family left, no kids, and retired. So to get out of a dinner or pool party, for example, on a holiday, I can't think of any excuses! The people who invite me to things know my friends, so no excuse can be had from that either.

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