Tuesday, February 16, 2010

IT’S FREE IF YOU SHOVE IT ALL IN YOUR MOUTH.

July 18, 1995. I remember it like it was yesterday. A Saturday afternoon that consisted of 3 recent college graduates (just shy a yr. out of school) sitting in my friend’s living room in Bayside Queens. We had not a thing to do. Outside was out of the question since it was a sweltering 93.4°. The internet thing hadn’t taken off, so surfing porn wasn’t even invented yet. We truly had zero on our plates until my friend (let's call him Jason) threw down the gauntlet. Here’s how I remember the conversation going down:

Jason: I bet I can finish 2 medium Pizza Hut® Stuffed Crust Pizzas.

Jesse: All at once?

Jason: Yep.

Barry: No ^%$^ way.

Jason: Guaranteed. If I don’t, I’ll…I’ll pay for the whole thing.

Jeff: F*ck this, let’s play Sega Hockey. Who’s in?

Jason: I’m serious!

Barry: Yeah sure, why not.

I won’t bore you with the saucy details, but suffice it to say, Jason did NOT conquer Mt. Stuffed Crust that day. Though P.S., he did win a food bet 5 days later when he finished a head of lettuce in 30 seconds.

Thankfully today in the continental U.S. you don’t need to wait for those optimum conditions to take on gargantuan gluttons for punishment. The following challenges are always ready, waiting and taunting.



CLINTON STATION DINER: 2 Bank Street, Clinton, NJ (908) 713-0012
Take on the ZEUS BURGER!! If you can finish this 7lb beefy beast in 3 hrs (or 1 ½ hours with friends) you get it for FREE.





SEIAD VALLEY STORE & CAFÉ: 44719 Hwy 
Seiad Valley, CA (530) 496-3399
The Pancake Challenge! Eat 5 lbs worth of pancakes in under 2 hours and the meal is on the house (and hopefully still in your belly).





GUS & PAUL’S: 1209 Sumner Ave. 
Springfield, MA (413) 782-5710 Bakery
The World’s Biggest Corned Beef Sandwich is waiting for you. With this $59.99 price tag you get 2.5 lbs of corned beef, 1 lb of Swiss cheese, 1 lb of slaw and 1.25 lbs of french fries. Finish it in 1 hour and you pay $0.





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3 comments:

  1. that is disturbing

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like watching that show Man vs Food. It's pretty insane all the food challenges out there. But can you explain to me exactly how anyone can eat a head of lettuce in 30 seconds? Did he even chew it? You've blown my mind today.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Man vs. Food, starring a chubby Fred Savage!

    I always want to try those eating challenges you see on television, but I can never find any in my area.

    I do have my picture on the wall at the Santa Monica Fatburger for eating a XXXL Fatburger and a pound of fries though....

    ReplyDelete

 
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