OK, I’LL TELL YOU WHY I’D RATHER EAT A SMURF OVER A FRAGGLE.

First off, lets just get past the fact that they both don’t really exist. Are we cool? Good. Now we can continue on to the scenario.

You wake up and find yourself on a desert island. You notice the land is kinda sparse when it comes to the vegetation. And the fruit trees are basically nonexistent. True, you are surrounded by the ocean. So yes, in theory you could catch fish. However, the beach is way too rocky and the waves are too rough to make a go at it. The only two saving graces of this island are there is a fresh water supply and there is an endless population of Smurfs and Fraggles.


At first your instincts tell you it’s wrong to eat any type of intelligent life. So for days you live off of the land (which isn’t much). Eventually you need to come to terms with the inevitable. IN ORDER TO SURVIVE YOU WILL NEED TO HUNT AND EAT EITHER THE FRAGGLES OR SMURFS.  Why do you have to choose? It’s my scenario, go with it.


MY CHOICE OF MEAT: SMURF
No contest. Just look at both creatures. Smurfs have (what looks to me like) thin skin and are basically hairless. They also seem pretty docile minus Jokey or Hefty Smurf. I think if you chop off a Smurf head and roast the body over an open flame it’d basically be like eating frog legs. That I can stomach. Especially with a splash of hotsauce.

WHY NOT FRAGGLES?

To me they seem to be a smidge more hyperactive and unpredictable. Fraggles also have fur and wear full outfits. Those are tell tale signs why they’d be a bitch to prep for cooking. Oh, and let's not gloss over the fact that Fraggles dwell in dark caves, while Smurfs live out in the open in delicious mushrooms (a perfect side with frog legs).

How can you argue this logic? You simply can't.