Tuesday, February 2, 2010

BACHELOR RECAP FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A SOMEWHAT SEXIST HUSBAND FORCED TO WATCH THE SHOW.

by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

I gotta be honest, last night's Bachelor to me was a bit of a snoozer. No hot tubbing, no low-cut tight stuff and only 32.3% of a catfight. LAME. I would have preferred 5 helpings of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret Of the Ooze (with the Vanilla Ice video) over this episode. But hey, it’s the wife’s TV night – what can I do.

Onto the recap…


One-on-One date (#1): Jake and Tenley (brown-haired hottie) go on a trolley ride throughout Chinatown. They eat dumplings, make fortune cookies and goo-goo eyes. In each fortune cookie they (or the ABC producers) both write something about kissing one another. AWWW. Later, J & T go to Coit Tower. At the top they talk about their lofty, ideal perspectives of marriage. Allotted TV nights never comes up in the discussion.




Two-on-One date: Gia (Sexy New Yawk model) and Vienna (meh face, nice body) meet Jake at Castello di Blah, Blah in Napa. Vienna talks everyone’s ears to a bloody pulp while Gia says zip. Later at dinner Jake grabs Gia for a make out session. After the date ends, all 3 retire to their respective rooms in the castle – Jake by himself and Gia & Vienna in another room. During the night Vienna sneaks to Jake's room for some nookie. Jake decides to play the G-rated, Disney card and reject her.



One-on-One date (#2): Jake and Corrie (mousy hottie) go to Golden State Park. ZERO KISSING. Later they are treated to a private dinner in the Science Academy aquarium. As a dolphin swims by Corrie tells Jake she’s a virgin. Jake says he respects that and makes out with her.


One-on-One date (#3): Jake lets Ali (blond hottie and SF native) take him on a personal tour of the city. They get flowers and make out in the park. While sitting on the waterfront Jake questions Ali about why she hates Vienna (meh face, nice body). Ali asks if they can table the talk for another time. J & A finish the date by running into the water with their clothes on, not unlike the NBC “Friends” show opening.



Rose Ceremony: No real surprise here. Jake dumps Corrie. Mind you not ‘cause she’s a virgin, but because their relationship progressed too slow. YAWN!

THE FINAL FOUR BEGINS...



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2 comments:

  1. Please would someone at your HQ write a review of the Bad Girls Club! I am an avid viewer of the show, even though I live in the UK and have to wait for the good citizens of the US to upload it onto YouTube :P

    I'd love to know Not Worth Mentioning's take on it.

    Love always,

    Stan aka Cheyelle (your blog's biggest fan).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wife TV night…I really like that idea ;) I’m going to have to find a night to have Geof watch my shows. I really loved reading a recap from a guy’s perspective. The whole scene with Vienna sneaking off to Jake’s room was so awkward.

    ReplyDelete

 
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