I am not a coffee drinker. Don't like the taste. To some, that makes me a freak that never went through puberty properly. I can live with the odd stares when I decline a cup at a meeting or a diner. ‘Cause thankfully, I’ve never had to waste my life savings on a nonfat, skinny, mocha, java with cinnamon, blah, blah. The only thing that does suck about being a non-coffee drinker is I have nothing to wake me up in the morning. Sure, I could grab a Diet Coke at 9am, but then I get the “soda junky” stares. Ooooh, I’m killing my body with caramel, coated toxins! Way worse than the “not drinking coffee” leers. Thankfully, now my caffeine intake is not regulated to the standard ingestion process. All I need to do is lather up with Shower Shock soap and wash myself awake. It’s soap laced with caffeine. 200 milligrams to be exact (coffee has 115). Basically, the caffeine gets absorbed through the skin. So all you need is one good lather to wake up. Two if you’re hung-over. Check it out.
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