Sunday, January 31, 2010

HELP AMERICA’S FAVORITE NATURAL BLONDE (WITH A PLASTIC HEAD) FIND A JOB.


by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

VOTE FOR BARBIE’S NEXT CAREER. Saw that on the side of a bus while walking my Yorkie. My heart skipped a beat. I finally found something I had in common with the most popular girl on the planet. I too am unhappy with my career of choice and would love a fulfilling change. Of course while I have to suck it up and deal with combing through 100s of job ads on craigslist and Monster, Babs has the whole world looking for her. Though in her defense she’s had over 120 careers. So that probably merits some sort of kudos. Right now the Barbie job paths you can vote for are environmentalist, surgeon, architect, computer engineer and news anchor. But before you make your “best educated” decision it’d probably be a good idea if you took a gander at her resume to date.

BARBIE JOBS

Art teacher (2002)
Spanish language teacher (2001)
Sign language teacher (1999)
Elementary school teacher (1985 – 2006)
Swim teacher (2005 2008)
US army officer (1989 – 1992* Desert Storm)
US air force pilot / Thunderbirds (1990, 1993)
US Marine officer (1991)
US Navy officer (1991)
Paratrooper (2000)
United States President (2000)
Presidential candidate (1992, 2004,2008)
UNICEF Summit diplomat (1990)
Ambassador for world peace (1986)
Firefighter (1995)
Police officer (1993)
Life guard (Baywatch 1994)
Canadian Mountie (2005) (in Canada)
Astronaut (1965, 1985, 25th Apollo 1994)
Flight Attendant (American Airlines 1973-75, Flight Time 1989)
NASCAR driver (1998)
Pilot (1990)
Stewardess ("American Airlines" 1961-64, "Pan Am" 1966)
Babysitter (Barbie Babysits 1963)
Ballerina (1961-present)
Business executive (1984)
Cowgirl (1981)
Chef (1996)
Fashion Model (1959-present)
Paleontologist (1997)
McDonald's cashier (1983)
Starfleet officer (2000)
Soda fountain waitress (Coca Cola Series 1998)
See's Candy cashier (2002)
superheroines
Designer (2008)
Hair Dresser (2008)
Photographer (???)
Artist (???)
Child photographer (???)
Dance teacher (???)
Guest editor of international fashion magazine (???)
Veterinarian (???)


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1 comment:

  1. I hear Heidi Montag is having problems getting back to "work" these days. Perhaps Barbie could fill in for her, while working towards a more meaningful career. I'm just concerned about her well-being in this harsh economy.
    Robyn

    ReplyDelete

 
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