Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A QUICK FIX FOR PEE DRIBBLE ON THE PANTS.


As I get older I’m finding my post shake and pee accuracy are a wee bit off. Now I don’t really care if I piss all over my leg at home, but at work – that’s a problem. How can I be the #1 go to guy at the office if I can’t handle going #1. In case you find yourself in a similar situation here’s a quick solve.

Step 1. After you piss yourself check to see if you are all alone.

Step 2. Now assess the dribble.

Step 3. If it’s small and high up, simply untuck your shirt to cover the stain.

Step 4. If it’s bad go immediately to the sink.

Step 5. Splash water all around the stain and on your shirt too.

Step 6. Walk out of the bathroom and angrily say this to coworkers …
"UGH! SOMEONE SHOULD REALLY FIX THE SINK IN THAT BATHROOM! I’M SOAKED!"

Step 7. Before people can question the situation run into your office and shut the door.

Step 8. Celebrate a job well done.


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12 comments:

  1. It all depends on the religious affiliation doesn't it? As one of the "chosen" you have no vatican mandated limit on the number of post urination shakes allowed, like some of us do.

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  2. Leave it to Pat to come up with that one!

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  3. OMGosh...I'm laughing so hard.....not just at the visual of your post....but at Pat's comment!!!!!

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  4. I think that picture shows incontinence not just a dribble...however, I have used the "splash technique" in the past when I have worn quick drying cotton pants. Good p-post!

    Pat, that was pretty inspired!

    http://www.apackalipsnow.blogspot.com

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  5. Bwwwaahhh Pat!!!

    But seriously can you please explain why men feel the need to shake at all, and if you really feel you must can't you just shake it over the toilet?! I work in a very small office with one bathroom and all of us women are pretty skeeved out by the, uh, droplets, all over the floors, the wall.....

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  6. That is embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as peeing someone else's pants.

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  7. LOL, I have never had this issue but if I do I think I would assess my need for that pill with the tube robot that has a "leaking" problem.

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  8. We have one of those handblower dryers.... Spend a minute or two under that and I'm good to go.... Not in that way....

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  9. To stop the problem all together go to Murphywear.com to see the latest mx-p technology in murphy overconfident underwear. These really work.

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  10. lol this happens way too often!

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  11. I love your blog, Cliff, and have been reading it for years. But just wanna say that I miss the days when you'd post frequently about your own life. Reading your advice columns/editorials are really interesting and useful, of course, in their own right. However, I do miss the aspect of blogging on here lately that comes from gaining insight into someone else's personal experiences, and not just their personal experiences as aggregated into a more general advice/editorial piece.
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