A bold statement I know. I’m starting with 10 ‘cause honestly I don’t have too much faith in myself. But one thing is for certain, I am NOT a quitter. My goal is to eventually get to 25 one-of-kind gems. Dare to dream.
Yes, most of these semi-sentences probably only make sense to me. A few on 'em will also guarantee me a first class ticket straight to hell. So is life. Please let me know if you’ve heard some iteration of the crap I’m about to spew. That is the only way I'll learn.
Oh and hey, If you want to work ‘em into your blog or use as an attention grabbing header go right ahead. In return I’d be cool with just a small shout out and a link up. On to the madness.
1- I know she’s a nun, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a fine ass.
2- If I camped out in Middle-earth for 3 or 4 months I bet Hobbit farts would grow on me.
3- I would cradle Satan’s balls if it meant I could get a primo parking space at the free clinic.
4- I think snot nose brats could rule the world if you chain them to the right refrigerator.
5- I blog for the chicks and the free coke.
6- Squirrel meat totally tastes better than hamster meat, duh!
7- We didn’t cryogenically freeze gammy to help her live longer, it’s ‘cause we caught her cheating.
8- Back in the day, Vomitoriums must have kicked righteous ass!
9- The ear wax and mustard combine for an earthy texture.
10- I do everything effeminate with my left hand, except masturbate.
Your mind works in mysterious ways... ;-)
ReplyDeletehow unique. And disturbing. But mostly unique. :)
ReplyDeleteI blog for the chick and the free coke too.
ReplyDeleteI do.
Really.
I have no idea why you wouldn't believe that statement!
3- I would cradle Satan’s balls if it meant I could get a primo parking space at the free clinic.
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!!!!!!!!
One more follower. Cmon fuckers follow this guy!
number 10? wow. nice to put that image into a girl's mind while at the office. geez.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Favorite is the hobbit farts.
ReplyDeleteROFL @ hobbit farts. Of course, I laugh at anything "farts". What can I say, I love fart humor.
ReplyDeleteThe ear wax and mustard.....ewwwww.
You asked where I find so much time? I don't work outside the home anymore. Spoiled brat, I know.
Are these your pick-up lines? Because they would SO work!
ReplyDeleteChiks, hobbit farts & hamster meat... a killer combination.
ReplyDeleteI think number 7 is the best. She knew better then to cheat us.
ReplyDeleteCrazy boy!
ReplyDeleteI disagree....
ReplyDeleteHamster meat is way better.
I think two and seven were my favourites.
ReplyDeleteAnd I admit, I had never read any of those statements before.
Not on any blogs anyway.
I think one of the current affairs shows here did an investigation in to squirrel meat vs hamster meat.
Brilliantly done, sir! And to think they used to say that drugs were bad for us. Well, you've definitely dispelled that silly notion!
ReplyDeleteAnd that my friend, in a nutshell, is why you are so friggin' brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you right now, "ear wax and mustard" are going on the menu tonight!
ahh hobbit's farts... I would imagine a certain sweetness to them
ReplyDeleteYou get free Coke? I'm a Pepsi man, but I'd settle....
ReplyDeleteMy fave is #3...hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteI'd cradle Satan's balls just to say I cradles Satan's balls.