Tuesday, April 27, 2010



TO: CLEANING STAFF at building where I work

SUBJECT: Apology for leaving snot on the wall

To Whom It May Concern:

I’d like to extend my sincerest apologies for leaving the snotlike mixture on the wall space right above urinal #1 in the bathroom. Just so you know, 99% of the time I always cover my mouth or use a tissue. It’s just that I was caught in midstream of a piss when the sneeze occurred. And to prepare for the sneeze spasm I used both hands to support my private area. My logic being is that I felt using one hand wouldn't be enough to defend against the sudden kick back. The course of the pee stream would've most likely been redirected to either the floor or my pants. In the end I felt the snot stained wall was a small price to pay to prevent possible urine puddles.

True, I could have stayed to clean up my snotty secretion. However, I desperately feared someone in upper management catching me in the act and unfairly judging me.

Again, my deepest apologies,


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  1. That's great...well maybe not but that's funny. 4 more followers man, you'll get there tonight!

  2. Uuuuuum, HOLY fucking shit!!!

    SO you actually took a picture of the loogie you left behind the pisser?

    That's fucking CLASSIC! I love it!!!

    Are you subtly trying to relay to us that you're soooo massively endowed that you have to use two hands to control the 'monster'?????


  3. You know, it doesn't do any good to write anonymous if you're just going to post it here.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Sorry, chickened out on my comment. Thanks for sharing that with us. Great post!

  6. Ok, I almost put an old Burger King jingle here, but thought better of it.

  7. I'm going to print 5 or 10 of these and keep them in the bottom drawer. Just in case I need them in the future.


  8. Holy crap that is hilarious. I will have to reference this if I ever get caught in this situation.

  9. I bet it was you that peed on the top of the urinal last time!!

    If you wanted a challenge you could of stopped the stream, it would of hurt a little but that is what you have to do to make the janitor happy

  10. How much do your janitors get paid.... They must make a lot of money.... What haven't they cleaned from the walls above the urinals?

  11. If he's in NYC most janitors are in Local 32BJ. If so his janitor either makes 17.50 an hour or 23.50 an hour if he's had 30 straight months with the union.

  12. Anyway, when you're doing the bathrooms a booger is the least of your problems. That is like one swipe with a wet rag. Seriously even the shit smears aren't so bad. The only thing that used to gross me out is the days when every little tampon box in the women's bathroom was filled with bloody pads. It just smelled like rotten pussy.


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