Sunday, March 7, 2010

THE ONLY OSCAR DRINKING GAME YOU’LL EVER NEED.


OSCAR NIGHT. This is perhaps the mother of all specials to do one of those “drink when they say or do something on TV” games. For sh*ts & giggles (and 'cause I'm lame), I scoured the internet for a whole mess of ‘em. If you play this game right (by my calculations) you and your partygoers should be good and soused by the "Best Animated Short" category. FYI…the game can be played during the E! red carpet ceremony as well.

DRINK IF THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS…

Someone cracks a joke about the length of the show.

Oscar recipient thanks the Lord Jesus Christ.

Winner brings the real world issues or tragedies into his/her speech.

The winner is wearing a ribbon (color doesn’t matter).

E! reporter asks, “Who are you wearing?”

Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin makes a crack about the movie “It’s Complicated.”

Camera cuts to Jack Nicholson.

Actor/Actress makes a plea on behalf of disaster stricken countries.
(poor taste sip)

When they cut to crying husband, wife or partner of the winner giving the speech.

When they cut to Brad Pitt laughing at a lame joke.

On the red carpet an actor/actress waves to the psycho fans.

Every time people clap during the In Memoriam.

When the award presenters try to explain what sound editing or cinematography means.

Alec Baldwin or Steve Martin say something to Meryl Streep in the audience.

When they cut to a shot of Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry’s cleavage.

If Brad Pitt has facial hair.

If Tom Cruise beams while an E! reporter is talking to Katie Holmes.

The winner walks to wrong way off stage after receiving the award.

Winner jubilantly double pumps the Oscar in the air with one hand.

If the winner says they weren’t prepared to give a speech.

If the winner whips out the crib notes.

If the winner is humbled just to be in the category with so many fine actors.

If the winner says they outright don’t deserve the award (one of the nominees do).

Winner forgets to thank their significant other.

Winner makes a crack that hopefully their kids aren’t staying up and watching ‘cause tomorrow is school.


BONUS ROUND! Chug the beer for as long as…

The "and the winner is" montage is being played.

The winner cries during the speech.

The "wrap it up" music starts to play during the winner's speech.

The Steve Martin / Alec Baldwin duet lasts.

The Oscars run late.



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5 comments:

  1. OK, but I have to work tomorrow. I'll just limit my self to two cocktails and enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great list1 But you forgot about the pans to the other half of the daring duo.... What about Clooney?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like a lot of alcohol overdoses tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't think there is a human out there that can survive imbibing that much alcohol. :D

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete

 
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