2 GIRLS 1 CUP: THE MERCHANDISE

In my life of 39 years I have done lots of things that caused me much shame. I have hurt people. I have lied. I have cheated. And yes, stolen (those little sucking candies from the wooden barrel bins in the supermarket when I was 5). Yet, when it comes time to meet my maker I will truly be able to hold my head up high and march right through those Pearly Gates. Why? Because I am one of the 5 five people that DID NOT see the 2 GIRLS 1 CUP youtube video in 2007. Not only that, I’ll do you one better. I refused to even find out what the premise of the video was until 2010. IF THAT’S NOT PATRON SAINT MATERIAL I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.

For those not of Youtube age 3 years ago I’ll just give you the studio pitch synopsis: 2 chicks eat sh*t and vomit. Then they take turns spitting the mixture in each other's mouths. Think momma bird feeding her young.

Little known fact: the viral video was actually just a trailer to the feature film Hungry Bitches.

Today the “shock of 2007” is nothing more than a sad punch line to some. To others, it’s a merchandising cash cow that’s still bringing in the all mighty dollar. In this economy can you blame people for looking at every possible angle to make some coin? Personally, THE DOWNFALL OF MANKIND LOOKS MIGHTY %$#$%% COOL ON A T-SHIRT. If anyone is wondering, I take a size Large.

2 GIRLS 1 CUP TSHIRT ($25.50 @ Zazzle.com)

• Heavyweight t-shirt.
• Tagless design.
• Pre-shrunk.
• Double-needle stitched hems.
• Imported.

2 GIRLS 1 COFFEE CUP ($17.45 @ Zazzle.com)

• Large, easy to grip handle.
• Holds 15 oz. of liquid.
• Dishwasher and microwave safe.

2 GIRLS 1 CUP LONG SLEEVE SHIRT ($24.45 @ Zazzle.com)

• Long-sleeved.
• Made of heavyweight material.
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping.
• Loose, classic fit.

2 GIRLS 1 CUP KEYCHAIN ($3.15 @ Zazzle.com)

• Vibrant colors.
• Made of UV-resistant Mylar.
• Tight-fitting clasp.
• Fits in pocket or purse.