Saturday, March 20, 2010

FINALLY, PROOF THAT LEIA DID MAKE LOVE TO JABBA THE HUTT.

Believe it or not, I actually did a post about the physiological makeup of Mr. Hutt. Again, my goal was to determine the sex of Jabba, thus I could draw an educated conclusion to the quandary. From my research I did find out that the Hutts as a species are in fact gastropods (a type of snail or slug). Not going to gross you out by detailing their mating habits that includes (kid you not) the female chewing off the penis once the deed is done. Though I will note the species is known to be hermaphrodites (equipped with both sex organs). However in the Hutts' case they can only morph into one sex or another depending on the reproduction situation. Let’s just say if a Hutt walked into a bar that's a sausage fest it wouldn't have a problem.

SO HOW DID I DRAW MY CONCLUSION?

Simple. I researched the LOCATION of the sexual organ. I assumed the gastropod's penis is in the lower region (like most male species). Which if that was the case it’d be physically impossible to engage in an act of copulation (bumping nasties). Jabba would never be able to contort his body into a proper “love making” position. However, a snail or slug's genitalia is in fact located much closer to the mouth (see diagram below). That would position Jabba's sexual organ right above his belly. So sad to say YES, it could have been VERY possible for Jabba and Leia to get busy. FYI…gastropods take 6 hours to make love. Nice mental imagery for a Saturday, no?







BONUS FOOTAGE: SNAILS MAKING LOVE



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7 comments:

  1. I'll never look at a friggin snail the same way again...never! I'll never eat another one...

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  2. So would she of had to lift the roll off the belly to get to the sexual genitalia opening?

    That video is hilarious. Whats worse snails making it or flies?

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  3. Those snails did the slimy walk of shame after they were done.... All the other snails stared as the slowly roamed the forest.... Their shells were all disheveled....

    I don't know why this made me laugh so hard when I had heard it, but I have a snail joke....

    A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.

    Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there.

    He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all
    about?"

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  4. This makes a frightening amount of sense...I've always suspected that Jabba DID sodomize Leia with his impressively, um, large fingers, his tongue (a girlfriend once called it "every woman's dream"), or his mighty tail, but...to think he may have used some other appendage to ravage her and further reduce her to a sexual slave...fascinating!

    And, for those of you who have always had some kind of kink or fetish for the thought of what Jabba did to Leia (and not just simply thought she looked hot in a metal bikini), I suggest you all go to the Facebook group "Jabba and Slave Leia: Drool and Discuss." Fairly self-explanatory - and a perfect place for you to spill every last nasty, slimy, chain-yanking thought you've ever had about the gruesome twosome. :)

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