I FORGET, WHICH ANIMAL TESTICLES ARE OK TO EAT?

Sorry PETA, but I’d say practically NO animal on the planet is safe from being a delicacy. Doesn’t matter how cute their wittle eyes are, or if they can shake their bushy tail – someone will see it as lunch. To be honest it doesn’t shock me when I hear the people of Hanoi love to chow down on scorpions or Norwegians can’t wait to sink their teeth into a big juicy sheep head. What does wake me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat is when I start realize the sheer amount and variety of animal testicles used in modern American cuisines. Cases in point...

BULL TESTICLES (Rocky Mountain Oysters): Dish found on menus in the midwest. Testicles are usually peeled, coated in flour, pepper and salt, and then deep-fried. Yum.

TURKEY TESTICLES: A dish that’s actually worthy of its own festival (in Huntley Illinois). Folks tend to take their TTs with a squirt of ketchup and a dash of Tabasco sauce.

SHEEP BALLS (Lamb fries): This delish delicacy is native to the bluegrass region of Kentucky. Locals like to cook ‘em up with bacon, onions and top with gravy.

MATZO BALLS: Found in delis in NY, Chicago and LA. Often enjoyed in a chicken broth, and is usually served with a half of corned beef sandwich (Kosher dill pickle optional).